Animals Lurker

Lurker

Katie - 20/02/2011 08:35 - Reserved

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Snek

afraidtosleep - 13/10/2012 06:35 - United States - Houston

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

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Australia? Australia.

ReptillianFreeloader - 13/02/2017 11:00 - Australia - North Lakes

Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML

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olive_costume - 05/12/2009 01:16 - Australia

Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML

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Psssssych!

Welcome to Florida - 20/07/2017 13:01

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

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Thanksssss

Mojosahomo - 10/01/2018 17:30 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML

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Anonymous - 28/03/2011 18:52 - Macedonia

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

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Sneeeeek!

blindsparrow - 18/11/2014 05:35 - United States - Dublin

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

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Tim - 07/08/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

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anonymous - 25/06/2016 20:03 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML

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Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

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w2z1 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 16:31

Was he a...sneaky snake?!?!

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 20 February 2011 16:55

Sssssshit.

SirEBC 7

Sunday 20 February 2011 19:07

I'M TIRED OF THIS MOTHA ****** SNAKE, IN MY MOTHA ****** BED!

demetrius19 7

Sunday 20 February 2011 19:11

sucks 2 be u

usafacadet2013 4

Sunday 20 February 2011 19:17

From now on, don't go in there without a mongoose.

DocBastard 38

Sunday 20 February 2011 19:21

You need to coral that thing. Maybe try to use a feather boa or one of your garters to distract it while you tie it up in a ball with a co-bra. If you can't catch it, don't asp your dad or mamba for help, just put a hat on your copperhead, some water moccasins on your feet, and get adder there and into your Dodge Viper.

AtomicMangox3 1

Sunday 20 February 2011 20:13

I think I've seen this style of comments on another fml.. It was probably you. It made me laugh. This made me laugh. Good job. Very clever..

azhigatex 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 21:10

^^Win^^

Ariasmake_1 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 19:29

and people thought I was crazy when I bought a mongoose! these things happen.

imac619 2

Sunday 20 February 2011 19:43

If it's not venomus stop complaining. If it's not a full grown retic or conda stop complaining. Snakes are awesome,easy to handle. YDI

gatiekatie 0

Friday 25 February 2011 14:18

take your own advice and stop complaining.

luvin_purple 11

Sunday 20 February 2011 19:55

that's my worst nightmare too! I'm petrified of snakes! I would get a heart attack if that happened to me

F_U_imcrippled 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 19:56

Today, after travelling for days to my mating grounds I finally arrived only to find a house in my way with some horribly loud and ugly woman inside...sigh...oh well she is still better then my ex.