Health, Injury Ironic Locked and loaded

Locked and loaded

Anonymous - 30/12/2011 03:07 - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

TheComputerGuy96 - 22/05/2010 07:56 - Italy

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

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Anonymous - 22/01/2016 19:00 - United States - Royersford

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

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Jason - 12/08/2010 20:33 - United States

Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML

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Stuck

Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

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Anonymous - 21/07/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

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valene5687 - 27/01/2016 05:20 - United States - Gretna

Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML

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Lockout - 31/08/2015 20:01 - Germany - Kiel

Today, I thought I'd locked my house keys in my locker at work. Not having any replacement nearby, I decided to cut the padlock with the saw of my pocket-knife. It took 20 minutes and four cuts into my hand to destroy the padlock. It took another five seconds to find the missing key in my jacket. FML

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MadameM - 26/02/2009 08:17 - United States

Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML

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Break in

GodDaughter - 20/09/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

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It's not funny, mate

Anonymous - 14/12/2012 23:12 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML

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NippsSlipps 10

Friday 30 December 2011 8:36

Checking your pockets for keys before you break a window usually works. But that's just me.

Airman1988 9

Friday 30 December 2011 8:41

So you managed to search the ground and find a spoon but not your own pocket for a key?

Airman1988 9

Friday 30 December 2011 8:41

So you managed to search the ground and find a spoon but not your own pocket for a key?

manowarkidd 8

Wednesday 25 February 2015 17:14

lol i dont under stand why people when breaking window dont break of the exxes glass? you broke the window and when replacing it they use a new pane so wtf

LolCakes111 7

Friday 30 December 2011 8:42

10% chance it's under the rug near the front door?

jaredjudd21 2

Friday 30 December 2011 8:42

So that's what that lump was, I thought it was the orange chicken I kept for later.

Arxikist 3

Friday 30 December 2011 8:44

Naw, it's a boner.

jaredjudd21 2

Friday 30 December 2011 8:47

Well come on now, a Chinese boner?

ariannaimelda 7

Friday 30 December 2011 8:43

You'd think your pockets would be the first place you'd look...

BrianAlarcon 0

Friday 30 December 2011 8:44

Let me guess your a blonde.

stephissilly 18

Friday 30 December 2011 8:45

you were blazed weren't you?

cjcstuart 7

Friday 30 December 2011 8:51

Lol I was thinking the same thing.

Badjuju7711 0

Friday 30 December 2011 11:46

Sounds like more of a drinking thing. A person who is high would have forgotten them in the first place.

luongo6 0

Friday 30 December 2011 8:45

On the bright side, you can make up a cool story about how you got the wound. "I was wrestling a bear, and was clearly winning, so he called in reinforcements. Before I knew it, 30 other bears had surrounded me. I managed to win, but they left this scar on my leg."