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Let it out

Username - 05/11/2010 22:02 - France

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
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Anonymous - 12/05/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML

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sleepy - 23/12/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

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How sweet

Birdman - 23/06/2018 15:00

Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML

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levi Glasscock - 15/04/2011 13:52 - United States

Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML

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Plug it

Dumbblonde - 03/05/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park, so we did. As we were walking back, I was carrying her on my back. When we were almost at the front door, she told me she had to pee. I told her to hold it in for a second. As we were walking through the door, I felt a warm spot on my back. FML

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Spooked

Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

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sniper foxeh - 29/07/2018 01:30

Today, my younger sister and I were camping when, during the middle of the night, she asked me if I could take her to the toilets as she was scared. I told her to go by herself or go behind the tent. Thirty seconds later, she peed on me. FML

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shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

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Rising Damp

Anonymous - 18/10/2021 17:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, while I was asleep, my three-year-old cousin wet the bed again. MY bed. FML

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Bob - 20/06/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML

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mrahhhhh 21

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:32

You're her territory. She will protect you from other little kids who try to pee on you. Barking is completely normal and should be expected from her.

Selena_is_back 7

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:18

nice

DocBastard 38

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:27

If you teach middle school, this is quite disturbing.

mrahhhhh 21

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:30

****, I wish I got nap time in middle school.

Fortuitous 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 3:23

No, Doc, if she taught middle school, she would get peed on because she thought a girl was a boy.

DocBastard 38

Saturday 6 November 2010 4:07

Forty, you're mixing FMLs now and blowing my mind a little.

Fortuitous 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 4:13

Introduce bedlam into order, and everything becomes perfect. :D No, you are the one who is doing the mind-bending.

LemonStarship 5

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:28

What's the problem? Pee back on her...

abc1231 2

Saturday 6 November 2010 9:44

ok now R. Kelly...

gabbiechaoss 5

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:28

I'm kind of confused about something....was she just a random child? Or were you babysitting or what??

chriswest54 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:39

who gives a shit, she peed on the person, thats what matters

SadinSherman 16

Saturday 6 November 2010 17:50

I was thinking maybe she runs a daycare or is a Kindergarten or Pre-K teacher.

hunterg 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:29

that sucks. I hate when small children cry. the pee just happened to happen the same time. ultra sad face. :(((((((((

catatonicsleep 17

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:36

maybe the kid was crying because she really had to pee...

boopityboppity 11

Saturday 6 November 2010 4:02

That's not an ultra-sad face. It's some sort of alien creature with ten mouths, all frowning. It's got to be Smilin' Bob's evil brother.

jocelyng_fml 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 4:21

68 that was an epic win!!!

TempestRain 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 4:27

haha. alien it is!!!

Draminicaus 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 7:05

I thought it was a sad face with more chins than Jabba the Hut. Alien creature, it is.

mdog1114 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:32

lolzz

mrahhhhh 21

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:32

You're her territory. She will protect you from other little kids who try to pee on you. Barking is completely normal and should be expected from her.