Love, My ex Intimacy Leave Me Alone - FML

Leave Me Alone

gordogs 25 - 04/04/2012 10:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

38 149

13 053

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 02/02/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

40 721

9 452

Inactive

inbogota - 06/03/2021 15:30 - Colombia

Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML

1 038

181

Who the f***?

Anonymous - 04/10/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I woke up to find out I'd had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything because apparently I talked throughout my dream, and she was right next to me listening. FML

34 950

5 951

Unfulfilled

Anonymous - 28/03/2021 00:00 - Romania - Campina

Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML

1 097

160

Sarsippius - 18/05/2013 05:22

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

48 650

6 220

No kinkshaming on FML

Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

59 732

9 340

damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

25 737

4 278

frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

42 072

9 052

jennahh - 10/07/2019 22:00

Today, I had a sexual dream about my ex, and I woke up after saying his name. My boyfriend was awake, and heard all the dirty talk and me moaning my ex-boyfriend's name. FML

2 217

1 089

lonerjik - 19/01/2011 12:05 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML

30 315

10 843

Sushimomo 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 19:29

"Darling, I swear it was about you!"

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 4 April 2012 19:33

So your ex is hotter than your wife. So what? Enjoy your dreams, and then you can wake up and enjoy your wife. You win twice!

OhYeahItsDannie 0

Saturday 21 July 2012 5:28

I would not want a husband like you :/

SexPot143 13

Monday 4 March 2013 3:11

And you got married why? YDI ass hole

IXChaosDragonXI 13

Sunday 22 December 2013 16:28

That's not technically a bad thing. It just means that she had a certain powerful impact on whatever it is you're dreaming about, in this case sex. It doesn't mean you're marrying the wrong person.

ModernZelda 19

Friday 6 March 2015 10:28

If you are more sexually attracted to your ex rather than your wife, you really need to do some rethinking OP.

kate_Q 6

Thursday 9 April 2015 8:52

Looks like you made the wrong choice in partner..

downlowjigelow02 11

Wednesday 1 July 2015 23:04

that is surprisingly normal a lot of us guys had the wedding night dreams

ThLast_Huntr22 7

Wednesday 15 June 2016 1:43

That's ok, love is a reaction you get by being with people. Arousement is from how hot the person is

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

18 428

43 642

Today, I woke up on the floor after I fell asleep last night while counting my tips. The pennies stuck to my face and left large blue circles from the copper. The blue won't come off. I have my senior photos today. My appointment can't be rescheduled. FML

28 723

6 586

Today, my cousins are visiting from America and boy do I want rid of them. We went to a restaurant and ordering their food took over 20 minutes due to their crazy food orders. It was seriously like the restaurant scene in The Goldbergs, only not funny. Seriously, go watch that scene. MADNESS. FML

412

143

Today, thanks to that goddamn Trump, my business is going under. All the guys I count on to do jobs have dipped, and hiring new ones will force me to hike my prices through the roof. I'm going to have to cancel three contracts and might get sued. FML

428

616

Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML

135

553

Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML

9 180

1 288