Sex, Awkward Intimacy Keep going!

Keep going!

Taraa3 - 10/10/2009 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

That was quick

Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

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Heat of the moment

English_Nut117 - 30/10/2013 19:17 - Canada - Georgetown

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

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Enjoy the show

Anonymous - 30/09/2023 08:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having early morning sex and I was getting pretty loud. Suddenly, I got a text from Amazon saying my overnight package had just been delivered. You have to walk by my room to get to the front door, and my window was wide open. The text came with a grinning emoji. FML

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annoyedgf - 11/07/2015 12:44

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML

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Eet- - 13/10/2011 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

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Surprise indeed

Anonymous - 18/10/2010 14:24 - Netherlands

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

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Freak out

Brave - 06/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her apartment early. I climbed through her bedroom window, holding flowers. I got the wrong window. Some old man screamed, hit me with a broom, and called the cops. FML

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breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

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Make your mind up!

nextcontestant16 - 19/11/2012 15:12 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

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Anonymous - 15/01/2011 05:52 - United States

Today, after work, I came home to my boyfriend sleeping on the couch. Feeling romantic, I started to undo his pants. My reward was him waking up and kneeing me in the eye. FML

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insertfmlhere 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 16:09

Maybe he'll come inside and wash your bed after you finish, except that could be a bad bed cleaner...

misspeg 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 16:32

hmm not really a fml. I think the window cleaner was actually being quite polite b4 it got any further!

Valjeanjolras 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:24

GO WINDOW CLEANER!!!

tigerlily34 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 7:20

I signed up for this comment Window cleaner = WIN!!

SuperNeko 0

Monday 23 November 2009 0:42

how about closing the curtains next time???

NewDEra 0

Friday 4 December 2009 16:32

LMFAO! :D GRINNING.. PFFTT! Woot! Epic Win 4 Window Cleaner.

i_love_germany 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 15:29

well, at least the window cleaner approved!

jedanator 2

Saturday 16 January 2010 0:59

Well, that's Hartlepool for you.

Pocahontas22_fml 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 11:35

Thats funny...and awkward lol

PaddedWhiteRoom 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 6:36

the image inside my head just made my day.

sammy259 3

Sunday 20 March 2011 2:07

call the cops on his ass

Kitty_Kat16 16

Monday 5 October 2015 2:30

for what doing his job and happening to observe something

latinabbyx3 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 17:50

lmfao, what a creep !

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my 9 month-old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

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Today, I asked my dentist for a sick note so I could get my lost filling put back in ASAP. According to her, being in pain 24/7 is not a medical condition that would justify immediate treatment. FML

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Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

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Today, while studying with the girl I like, I rested my face on my book, pretending to be frustrated. When I lifted my head, I realized I'd left a greasy spot on the page from my nose. She noticed. FML

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Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

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