Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 450 You deserved it 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, I’ve been at my new house for a week. My new neighbour’s dog barks non-stop all day, and their newborn baby cries non-stop all night. FML I agree, your life sucks 850 You deserved it 129
Today, I drove through a drive-through car wash. The steering wheel turned left on it own. I was pretty sure the railing guided the car but my stupid ass turned the wheel to the other side and popped the car off the rails. It crashed into one of the machines and now I have a huge dent to the front of the car. FML I agree, your life sucks 248 You deserved it 1 105
Today, I have Lyme's disease. I caught it because we used alcohol on the area before we removed the tick that caused it. Apparently, that makes ticks vomit. I'm sick because a tick puked into me. FML I agree, your life sucks 959 You deserved it 170
Today, I came back from a two week vacation. As I walked in the door, my boyfriend greeted me with a "Hey, honey! Could you clean the crockpot?" It still had the chicken in it from my going away dinner. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 179 You deserved it 3 706
Today, I knew my coworker was stealing my lunch, so I made a sandwich with tons of incredibly spicy peppers. He took a bite, shrieked in pain, and ran off sobbing. Unfortunately, he was also in an emergency meeting with an important client, so now my whole department looks like a bunch of morons. FML I agree, your life sucks 618 You deserved it 110
Today, I tried to surprise my parents by coming home from college for Spring Break. I arrived to find a dark house, with all the doors bolted shut. After calling them, I found out that they have gone on a vacation to Hawaii for a week. I am now locked out of my own house, with no where to stay. FML I agree, your life sucks 50 846 You deserved it 13 534
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?