Friends, Relatable Awkward It's not me, it's you

It's not me, it's you

Anonymous - 10/10/2021 15:00 - Mexico - Lagos De Moreno

Today, I went out with two new friends. While we were talking, they said that their mother had called them to go home. Later on, I saw them in the main square, hanging out. I wasn't creepy or disrespectful, and I don't know why they did it. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

slondons - 18/01/2011 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, my friends were acting strange around me. This afternoon, I got a text asking me to meet them out for a couple of drinks. Because of all the strange acting, I decided to tell them I'd go and then not go. I just found out they had been planning me a surprise party. FML

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hateskool888581 - 12/01/2010 00:28 - Mexico

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

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Unforgettable

bex - - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with two old friends from high school. While at the restaurant, we saw a girl who we graduated with. The girl gave both of them hugs, then introduced herself to me. FML

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Anonymous - 22/05/2013 17:10 - United States - Pomona

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML

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noo - 11/10/2009 10:54 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML

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Anonymous - 28/10/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

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Good friends

cavallo31 - 28/06/2016 00:47 - United States

Today, I invited my friends to meet up at the park. After asking twice, I finally got the text saying to meet them there. But when I got there, I realized they had already been there for a while. As I was walking up to them, I heard, "Why did you invite him?" FML

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motherdearest - 21/03/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML

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So frustrating!

Anonymous - 21/11/2013 20:37 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

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Bullet - 13/08/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

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loopylaura88 17

Monday 11 October 2021 2:57

im sorry OP, but the fact that you said you weren't "creepy or disrespectful" makes me think that you probably are without realising it

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 10 October 2021 23:50

They obviously live in the main square, duh...

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 10 October 2021 23:50

They obviously live in the main square, duh...

loopylaura88 17

Monday 11 October 2021 2:57

im sorry OP, but the fact that you said you weren't "creepy or disrespectful" makes me think that you probably are without realising it

george1986 7

Monday 11 October 2021 16:23

FACTS!💯🎯

Ms. Kristel 2

Monday 11 October 2021 14:29

perhaps there vibes can't match yours. it's a matchy2x thing. find yours

Glitterbaby2613 20

Saturday 6 November 2021 7:58

Maybe you just overstayed your welcome

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

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Today, an old friend of my mom's yelled at me for "ignoring" her. I wasn't responding because she was getting my name wrong, so I assumed she was referring to someone else. FML

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Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML

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Today, I messaged a crush (it was mutual and we adored each other) from five years ago, just to talk. He seemed happy and we had a good convo talking about how our lives have changed, until he said, “Uh I seriously don’t remember you though, lol. Thanks for the follow, though”. then left me on seen and unfollowed me. FML

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Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

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Today, I just got home in a state of shock. My wife was apparently pregnant without realising it, with no weight gain, then she gave birth at 1 a.m. It was supposed to be a normal Sunday then poof, we have a baby and a house we haven’t baby-proofed. We don’t even have nappies or clothes. FML

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