Health, Sports, Accident Injury It's not a phase, mom!

It's not a phase, mom!

Anonymous - 24/12/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I woke up to see that I had two black eyes from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong yesterday. I decided to curl my hair to distract from them. While curling my hair I accidentally burned my cheek. I now have two black eyes and a huge burn on my cheek. My extended family is coming tomorrow. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

msnewyearseve - 01/01/2012 17:19 - United States

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

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CPN - 14/03/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I was counting to 5 my brother flung open my door. I jumped and ended up ripping out all my eyelashes. Now I have to wait until they grow back. FML

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Healthy lifestyle choice

Rowaelin16 - 23/09/2016 03:31 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, in an effort to be fitter, I joined a Pilates class. Ten minutes into it, I dropped a 10-pound dumbbell on my face. I now have a horrific looking black eye, and half of my cheek is a mottled green color. Not to mention the cut above my eye that needed 4 stitches. FML

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Rock on!

wtf - 08/03/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML

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ThatHurts - 14/11/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

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Anonymous - 04/05/2011 18:05 - United States

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

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How? Why?

WetMorning - 05/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML

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What the **** was that?

Hatty - 14/03/2010 10:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

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It's lit

Anonymous - 07/02/2022 00:01

Today, after spending 2 years growing out my hair, rubbing in oils to make it strong and healthy so I could shave it off and donate to a cancer charity to make wigs, I had a mishap at work with a car's cracked petrol tank. I now have 2nd degree facial burns and like 90% of the hair is burned away. FML

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Make up tutorial

Bunni - - Australia

Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half-closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML

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LizzysOwner 17

Friday 25 December 2009 1:40

As a cheer coach I'm very interested to know how you got not one but TWO black eyes from a stunt. Sounds interesting... tell them the story and I'm sure they'd understand.

me5 0

Friday 25 December 2009 1:13

Clumsiness is hereditary. Tell 'em that! They'll understand

TheButler 0

Friday 25 December 2009 1:07

Tigg3r 3

Friday 25 December 2009 5:43

congrats! your prize is knowing that you are a complete and total dumbass!

mackenzieex3 0

Friday 6 August 2010 8:14

maybe you could try some makeup? that would hurt :((

livan10 0

Friday 25 December 2009 1:11

second b****

lemonlife 0

Friday 15 October 2010 3:36

no one gives a shit

christttinaaaxo 0

Friday 25 December 2009 1:13

aw,fyl ibdeed.

me5 0

Friday 25 December 2009 1:13

Clumsiness is hereditary. Tell 'em that! They'll understand

lostfaithinpppl 19

Friday 25 December 2009 1:22

+1 YDI, by the way :D

ashlea925 0

Friday 25 December 2009 1:31

Wear a nice shirt?

LizzysOwner 17

Friday 25 December 2009 1:40

As a cheer coach I'm very interested to know how you got not one but TWO black eyes from a stunt. Sounds interesting... tell them the story and I'm sure they'd understand.

jessxoxo28 5

Friday 25 December 2009 1:47

wow, well that wat u get for cheer leading, lol just tell them what happened and try using cover up if ur burned cheek isnt raw

beck1132 0

Friday 25 December 2009 1:52

As someone who was a cheerleader in highschool I feel your pain. In one practice I had a chipped tooth, a bruised nose and bruises on my knee. (we were getting ready for competition) Use lots of make up =) and don't talk about it and if they say anything make up some elaborate story.

MagneticGuitar 0

Friday 25 December 2009 1:53

Dumb Cheerleader.

Malinkrot 3

Friday 25 December 2009 1:58

I knew some obese "anti-conformist" effeminate Myspace high schooler would say something like this...

MagneticGuitar 0

Friday 25 December 2009 2:00

I'm none of those, you just fell for it. :D

bluejayscheer 7

Monday 30 April 2012 23:41

Cheerleaders aren't dumb, I've had a 4.0 my entire life. If she wasn't bright it still wouldn't be her fault if a falling flyer accidentally kicked her or something when she was coming down.