Sex, Farts Intimacy It's getting hot in here - FML

It's getting hot in here

cold-n-stinky - 12/01/2010 06:30 - United States

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said, "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Love is…

gassygirlfriend - - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

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The language of love

disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

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Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

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yoked - 18/12/2009 03:48 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

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Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

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hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

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SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

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Love is…

Anonymous - 29/07/2012 04:25 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

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Filth

roughsexgonewrong - 05/11/2013 18:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

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steve-o - 14/02/2019 15:46 - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

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scheme 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:16

owned

Craig92EIRE 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:32

at least you're warm:)

forever2life 0

Sunday 29 May 2011 23:43

L O L

cheesepie08 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 2:59

trolololololol

AtomicBryce 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 7:45

gross

ThisRandomChild 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 0:13

Lmfao!!!!!!!!!

ZielZone 4

Thursday 29 September 2011 4:58

ROFL... Give her the Dutch oven!!

iwadasn 32

Wednesday 2 November 2011 4:17

Seems like you're long overdue for a new line.

e_stone_85 3

Monday 27 February 2012 11:42

this is just funneh

kims0706 10

Wednesday 21 March 2012 3:55

Well did it warm you up?

arcottrammathorn 1

Sunday 15 April 2012 17:20

Talk about a plan backfiring. Heyoooo

PurpleKicks 22

Saturday 21 April 2012 19:34

hahaha bet that walmed your naughty bits right up? hahahaha

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without turning the gas on. FML

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Today, I told my mom I was leaving early to give my boyfriend a ride to work. She asked me why on Earth I’m even attracted to someone who doesn’t have a car. FML

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Today, my guy, who is a PhD candidate, informed me that it is his goal in life to own every Will Ferrell movie. FML

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Today, I wrote a song for my boyfriend on paper. The first thing he did was correct my grammar. FML

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Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

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Today, I found out my new puppy has worms by him scooting his butt across my new carpet. It's like smeared spaghetti. FML

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