Intimacy ICYMI

ICYMI

senelbeat - 03/07/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Missy - 02/02/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML

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Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

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I don't wanna

Anonymous - 11/10/2020 15:02 - Estonia

Today my mother, who was once shocked to realise that my older sister was having unmarried sex, told me to go and 'get some' because it's good for my health. I'm asexual. FML

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Overbearing parents are the worst

SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

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Excuses

sucks - 12/03/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML

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Thanks mom

Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

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Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…

TheVirginJenny - 07/10/2012 00:05 - United States - Spanaway

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

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Thanks Mom

Enko - 09/11/2008 07:43 - France

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML

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Confused - 15/09/2009 09:58 - United States

Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML

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Make it stop, please

Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

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Tippssy 0

Friday 3 July 2009 20:09

Mom burns are the best.

fxdxhk90 0

Friday 3 July 2009 20:13

It wouldn't be too hard to prove her wrong.

fucklifeee 0

Friday 3 July 2009 23:47

Nobody gets that the mom wasn't saying, "I'm not letting you," she was saying, "you can't get any even if you tried."

MissxKim 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 0:53

fast a*s sl*tt

DarthJeff 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:12

On the next episode of 16 and pregnant..

aaaaa12345_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 2:07

huh?

lastminuteperm 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:38

I get how this is an FML. Her mom is saying that she's not gonna' get any until shes married anyway.

may_cause_fail 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:38

Holy shit I love that show. And if we ever see an episode about a man getting pregnant, we'll know that it was the OP~ :D

fml27 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:45

so what...

cmac86 23

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:56

same here bro. it's the right thing to do, anyway.

cmac86 23

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:58

I'm a virgin and I'm in the exact same boat. I just don't talk to my mom about my sex life (or lack thereof). it's gross.

mr_rice 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 4:12

she thinks ur that ugly or something

jnic 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 4:41

Er. I don't get it. Why would she be informing you? Your mom makes no sense, why would she think you can get married if she thinks you can't even get laid?