Health, Death, Awkward Thief I'm still standing, yeah yeah yeah

I'm still standing, yeah yeah yeah

Anonymous - 17/10/2022 14:00

Today, I found out I was dead. Yes, you read it right! Apparently, the pickpocket who stole my wallet two days ago was murdered and since his face was quite unrecognizable, they "identified" him with my ID from my wallet. My mom, who heard this on the news, got hysterical and started trashing my room in "grief." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

wdavi022 - 05/01/2011 09:01

Today, I found out my identity was stolen. The person got credit cards in my name and didn't pay the bills, which has ruined my near perfect credit. The worst part about all of this is that I can't turn the person in. It's my mom, and sending her to jail wouldn't really work out for anyone. FML

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thanksmom - 20/07/2010 00:23 - United States

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

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life_suxxx - 06/12/2009 07:43 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML

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tannerrosetx_1 - 06/04/2015 11:44 - United States - Irving

Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML

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Anonymous - 14/11/2010 19:51 - South Africa

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

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fire0fisis - 03/02/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML

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Anonymous - 15/04/2011 06:57 - United States

Today, I found my dead phone that had been missing for two weeks. I turned it on to see that I had only gotten 2 text messages during the two weeks. They were both from my mother. FML

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Piggy banked

Rain - 14/11/2016 11:43

Today, I discovered my own mother has been stealing money from me for months when I opened my savings box to find it empty. FML

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Aaron Lewis - 07/07/2012 05:01 - United States - Topeka

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

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See you in court

Anonymous - 19/01/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend had always told me that his mom was dead. Apparently he just meant she’s dead to him. She’s actually a con artist. I just met her for the first time, after learning she impersonated me, stole my savings, ran up credit card debt, and bought 3 cars. FML

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TwoBytesCarley 27

Monday 17 October 2022 16:00

You would think the police would have picked up that he wasn’t you by looking at the rest of the body..you know..not being female.

spinningrecords 14

Monday 17 October 2022 14:32

Did you report that your wallet was stolen?

spinningrecords 14

Monday 17 October 2022 14:32

Did you report that your wallet was stolen?

RichardPencil 30

Monday 17 October 2022 15:36

Your mom was hysterically thrilled to not have to deal with you anymore and turn your room into a home gym. It's a good time to go somewhere else and take on a new identity.