Videos "I'll never drink again!" - FML

"I'll never drink again!"

Lewis - 16/12/2018 00:30 - France - Paris

Never say never!

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

cbchawks 14

Sunday 16 December 2018 3:03

I wish I could get that drunk. . . . and make it to the bathroom. that was the important part. I'm running out of couches to throw away

cbchawks 14

Sunday 16 December 2018 3:03

I wish I could get that drunk. . . . and make it to the bathroom. that was the important part. I'm running out of couches to throw away

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

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Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

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Today, after my family and I returned to our motel after a long day trip, we saw that the room was made. As we were getting ready to sleep, I pulled my sheets back to find a large piece of crap smeared all over the bed. When we told the front desk about this, they told us to "fuck off." FML

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Today, I was working at a soup kitchen with people from my church. Seeing a rather disheveled couple, I told them the line started "over there". Only then did I realize that they were from my church, and were there to help serve soup. FML

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Today, my wife spent the entire evening grabbing my crotch, whispering dirty things to me, and telling me how horny she was, right up until the kids went to bed. Then, it was, "Baby, I just want cuddles, I don't feel like sex" and pouting. This happens at least three times a week. FML

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Today, I learned to always remember to mute yourself on Zoom when on your break. My apartment is so small, they all heard me take the longest piss of my life, moan and butt scratching included. FML

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