Animals, Cats Cute I HATE YOU HOOMAN

I HATE YOU HOOMAN

What? - 21/09/2022 11:00

Today, and for the past few months, my cat has taken to yelling at me whenever I walk into the room he's in. I have no idea what he's so bent out of shape about, and I couldn't even make a reasonable guess as to why. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Needy smol bean baby

He's special - 29/01/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, my cat keeps walking into my room and screaming at me to pay attention to him. When I try to do so, he moves away. Then he yells at me from a distance. I don't wanna play this game. FML

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Jealousy

JLD - 11/10/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I came home from a four-day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she's been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

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Suffer, puny human

Heartbroken cat owner - 07/12/2022 02:00

Today, I've realized my cat only comes into my room to stare out the window for like two or three minutes before leaving. I have insomnia, so I wouldn't mind having him nearby, but this is unfortunately the only time he wants nothing to do with me. FML

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Humaaaaaaan! Open the doooooor!

Is he stupid? - 12/01/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, my dumbass cat won't stop screaming and whining at me because I won't let him go outside. It's winter, and this is the Midwest. He did this without my knowledge once before and had almost frozen to death by the time I figured out where he was. Also, he's too loud for earplugs to drown him out. FML

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Cat people

I’ll never see them again - 13/10/2022 08:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML

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Hey human, I'm right here

Not now - 12/09/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that my cat doesn't give me the time of day, unless I'm trying to do something that's difficult with a cat present, or at the very least makes it impossible for me to give him attention. Then he's all over me. It's a vicious cycle, with no end in sight. FML

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Who are you?

WTF - 12/07/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I know there's something wrong with my cat when his meowing starts to sound really weird. But just now, his meow has gotten so unusual that he actually scared the shit out of me. I thought it was an entirely different cat that got into my house before I looked back. Yeah, he's going to the vet. FML

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Telepathy?

So tired - 24/05/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my incredibly needy rescue cat - who knows she doesn't get to go into my bedroom at night - decided that she needed to wail and scratch the bedroom door from midnight until 5 a.m. Now that I'm awake, she's ignoring me because she knows I'm mad at her. FML

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How very dare you?

Oh Lawd He Comin - 05/08/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, I got tired of my cat trying to open the bag that contains his food when he literally has food in his bowl, so I put the bag on a high shelf he can't reach. Since then, he's been giving me all sorts of dirty looks whenever we're in the same room, to try and make me feel bad. FML

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Jackson Galaxy moment

Foreigner Fail - 25/09/2022 13:30

Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML

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Anderling 32

Wednesday 21 September 2022 18:20

It’s probably just a “Hello, I love you, pay attention to me!”.

Marcella1016 31

Wednesday 21 September 2022 14:20

He literally wants attention. Play with him. Give him treats. Love him up. You’ll have a happy kitty.

Marcella1016 31

Wednesday 21 September 2022 14:20

He literally wants attention. Play with him. Give him treats. Love him up. You’ll have a happy kitty.

Yudith 25

Wednesday 21 September 2022 22:06

Don't give him attention when he's yelling, though. You don't want to encourage his yelling.

Anderling 32

Wednesday 21 September 2022 18:20

It’s probably just a “Hello, I love you, pay attention to me!”.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymed with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

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Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her family. She’s always called her dad “Daddy” when talking about him, which is fine, but when we went to their house she kissed him on the mouth as a greeting, and at one point was sat on his lap, almost falling asleep. She’s 25. This can't be a good sign. FML

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Today, I found out that my new roommate is dating my ex-boyfriend. FML

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Today, it’s Easter Sunday. I have a countdown timer on my phone for when I can retire. I checked it : only 666 days left. FML

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Today, the new heart medication I take makes it hard for me to get an erection. It also gives me gas. My wife is getting sick of me farting when we're finally able to screw. FML

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Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

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