Kids, Drunk Parents How very dare you? - FML

How very dare you?

Anonymous - 23/08/2019 14:00

Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Mommy dearest

Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

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Anonymous - 23/04/2012 05:50 - United States - Harrison

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

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Anonymous - 09/05/2014 23:57 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

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Glass houses and all that

mirrorfad - - United Kingdom

Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

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sorry :/ - 08/02/2015 18:28 - United States - Monroe Township

Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

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Boozehound

Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

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speed-dialing dr kevorkian - 27/02/2016 07:25 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

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roselysunset - 29/07/2015 17:07 - United States - Cypress

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

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Mum

mummer11 - - Ireland

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

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FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

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riley873 21

Friday 23 August 2019 15:31

time for her to gtfo

Sinshine 28

Saturday 24 August 2019 0:36

And now she's going to start paying rent and stop living on your expenses.

riley873 21

Friday 23 August 2019 15:31

time for her to gtfo

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Friday 23 August 2019 16:34

I'm sorry but did you tell her that

RichardPencil 30

Friday 23 August 2019 18:25

Well, she lived in your dad’s house and drank his wine, and he didn’t give a **** about her. Be a good son and buy her a pizza.

Sinshine 28

Saturday 24 August 2019 0:36

And now she's going to start paying rent and stop living on your expenses.

OnReceivingEnd 17

Sunday 22 September 2019 7:12

"Well that's true...NOW. Here's what it costs for rent and utilities. FUPM."

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I hate that my best friend has a boyfriend, who doesn't even treat her right by the way. I could treat her way better, she's all I've ever dreamed of. Too bad she's straight. Too bad I'm straight. I might be in love with my best friend. FML

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Today, while on a road trip through Australia with my dad, we were both complaining that we had yet to see any kangaroos. Suddenly, we saw one up real close. The rental car saw it even closer. FML

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Today, I was stopped by a cop whilst opening my front door. Apparently my house has been under investigation for being abandoned and a possible drug lab. I live alone with my cats. I knew it was sad, not that it was suspicious. FML

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Today, I called a Lyft to go to work. I got dressed and even watched him finish his previous ride. We all know you have a 5 minutes window. It wasn’t even 5 minutes in when he cancelled my ride. Now I’m late for work. FML

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Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

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Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

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