How I feel at the kid's table By Lewis - 19/01/2019 19:00 - France - Paris But mooooom! I'm a grown man! I agree, your life sucks 279 You deserved it 61 Share Tweet Share
Today, after recovering from surgery, I was leaving the clinic when a bucket of red paint was thrown at me, and a woman shouted that I was a murderer. I replied, "Sorry, would you like me to ask the doctor for my ovarian cyst back so I can pretend it was a fetus?" She hit me with her handbag. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 056 You deserved it 194
Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML I agree, your life sucks 295 You deserved it 937
Today, I found out the guy I've been dating is heavily into a mystical card game and spends all of his money going to "Magic" card conventions across the country. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 143 You deserved it 28 799
Today, my boss fired me for "disrespecting" him after I told him to fuck off. This would be understandable, if I hadn't said it when he was at my house for dinner, harassing my wife with suggestive poses, heavily implied comments, and trying to put his hand on her crotch. FML I agree, your life sucks 13 346 You deserved it 899
Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 377 You deserved it 3 064
Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 901 You deserved it 11 965
Are his/her legs crossed?