Sex, Awkward Intimacy How could you?

How could you?

datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

19 522

37 039

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Kinky

sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

47 218

12 037

Hangry sex

Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

32 207

4 861

Equality

Anonymous - 04/12/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML

40 255

6 368

Scabby - 11/04/2012 09:53 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML

43 518

3 646

fuckyoutoo - 24/03/2013 23:47 - Canada - Armstrong

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

39 341

9 646

Royalty

princess - 21/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML

1 528

fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

55 463

8 908

Funky

Cleanfreak? - 25/06/2017 00:00 - Denmark - ?lborg

Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML

4 973

602

Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

28 989

4 110

Dirty talk

Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

28 822

4 784

slantyshanty 7

Monday 22 August 2011 8:49

Don't eat stuff in other peoples beds then.

ariannaimelda 7

Monday 22 August 2011 8:49

He could just wipe them off?

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Tuesday 23 August 2011 6:35

Your boyfriend is a big immature baby.

whitedw 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 6:37

wat a bitch!!! n of course I mean him.... why is taking it so anally?? Hahahahaha or is he use to it...

Glenninator 4

Tuesday 23 August 2011 6:48

This one time my girlfriend had cereal and milk in my bed at 5a.m. I was pissed

spazzy910 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 6:53

I hate crumbs in my bed!

Battle765 4

Tuesday 23 August 2011 6:56

Is this guy serious he probly just got done getting it from his boyfriend. Or she is ugly and he didn't feel like riding a scooter right then.

Bethhh13 1

Tuesday 23 August 2011 6:58

Will he reconsider if you make him a sandwich?

vbmg152 18

Tuesday 23 August 2011 7:02

He's not Mr. Picky, you are Miss Inconsiderate!! How dare you eat in someone else's bed! I'd kick your ass if I were him! YDI!!!

dnvrcosnobrdr 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 7:11

Of course you fat bitch!!! get the hell up and walk your lazy ass to the table.

a6h311h0und 1

Tuesday 23 August 2011 8:34

lesson learned.

Wreakorofhavoc 1

Tuesday 23 August 2011 12:05

One of the few reasons to withhold sex I can agree with.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML

257

168

Today, I was sitting in the garden with a book, enjoying the fragrant summer breeze. That fragrance changed somewhat once my kittens discovered that the big mole hill next to me made an excellent toilet. FML

712

168

Today, my brother robbed someone. The victim spoke with me and said that if his $1500 was paid back, he wouldn’t press charges. After I gave him the money, I questioned my brother until he admitted doing it. He only took $200. FML

3 200

5 167

Today, I thought I'd lost the ring that my boyfriend had given me, in the snow, in the dark. I spent a half hour with a flashlight searching every part of my driveway. The ring was on my kitchen windowsill the whole time. I took it off earlier to do dishes. FML

30 676

7 746

Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML

4 098

309

Today, three days before their rent was due, my fiancé's friends moved out of our basement without saying a word to us. On their way out, they took an envelope from my locked desk with $800 in it that was for our wedding in six months. FML

4 311

319