He's still got it

Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

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Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

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as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - 05/04/2014 22:04 - United Kingdom - Birkenhead

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

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Anonymous - 13/02/2013 05:07 - United States - Topeka

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

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sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

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Anger management

FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

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meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

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This is fine

Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

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Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML

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Drunken antics

DevilsTemptation - 29/08/2019 02:01 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML

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BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 26 October 2019 2:57

Never go to parties with your parents. That's just asking for trouble.

EmDizzle2007 28

Saturday 26 October 2019 2:22

flashed or mooned??

EmDizzle2007 28

Saturday 26 October 2019 2:22

flashed or mooned??

BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 26 October 2019 2:57

Never go to parties with your parents. That's just asking for trouble.

mfranks19891989 10

Saturday 26 October 2019 14:47

I going to assume the party was at the house and if she still lives at home then the parents are automatically invited.

bullsonyourface 20

Saturday 26 October 2019 16:36

she could've stayed in her room

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

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Today, my parents are upset that I never ask them for help with my homework and struggle with it myself. They won't accept the answer that whenever I do, they're always yelling at me and putting me down. Dad in particular can't get through one assignment without becoming a screaming tyrant about my handwriting. FML

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Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

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Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

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Today, I attended a job fair for a position at a shop. I was the only one who showed and submitted an application. I didn't get the job. FML

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Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

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