Animals Harmless, huh?

Harmless, huh?

Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

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The abyss

The_HML - 24/03/2009 02:48 - United States

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung on the balls by a jellyfish. FML

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wayne - 07/12/2011 10:28 - New Zealand

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

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Freakout

Brie - 29/05/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

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Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

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Baywatch music starts

Anonymous - 01/05/2019 12:00

Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML

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michellekel - 04/07/2009 12:10 - France

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

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Username - 05/06/2019 20:00

Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML

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Anonymous - 05/09/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML

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Dr Dolittle

Anonymous - 06/12/2022 18:00

Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML

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Mico3587 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:02

lol dolphins

Spinach 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:04

Nice. Dolphins enjoy a good joke like the rest of us.

DefyingGravity 0

Friday 17 April 2009 22:53

That trainer really shouldn't have told you that. It was kind of stupid of him. You should have listened to you instincts.

obstaclenumber1 0

Friday 17 April 2009 22:56

this is such a lie. so obvious.

silverx10 0

Friday 17 April 2009 23:02

#6, if you think that Dolphins are the only animals that attack others for "fun", you're dumb. *coughHUMANScough*

Vintage_fml 0

Friday 17 April 2009 23:07

male dolphins have sex with each other,enough said yet again,humans do that too

Ohnoitslindsay 0

Friday 17 April 2009 23:22

The dolphin is obviously more intelligent than most of the commenters here. Har har dolphin rape let's believe everything we see on Utoobz! And #54 homoeroticism is prevalent in the natural world. Both male and female hyenas are born with faux penises so that they can establish sexual dominance before maturation. You're ignorant, enough said.