Holidays, Alcohol, Gross Awkward Geyser Söze

Geyser Söze

Anonymous - 08/09/2020 14:01

Today, I found out why my B&B host looked so pissed this morning. I remember having too much red wine and puking out the window last night. Turns out the lampshade underneath the window spread my puke all over the freshly painted wall. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Robbins - 31/08/2009 02:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML

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The joys of spring

pukeytimes - - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

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College life

Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

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The Hangover

Anonymous - - United States - Newark

Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML

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hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

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Jigll - 13/10/2008 08:26

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

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Sickasadog - 06/02/2017 16:00 - United States

Today, I painted my daughter's room with the new paint we bought. It's an oil-based paint which hides all blemishes on the wall, but apparently makes me sick. I'm now throwing up everywhere, but at least the room looks good. FML

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Silly idiot

Heather - 04/03/2010 12:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it, and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

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Drunken mess

SlutRobot6000 - 01/07/2022 04:00

Today, I'm using mold and mildew stain remover on my mattress, all because I threw up on it drunk, and was to lazy to clean it up when it happened. FML

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ohshit - 29/03/2011 00:31 - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

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Shzusuziq 16

Tuesday 8 September 2020 16:17

Why would you puke “out a window” of a place you rented? Anything wrong with the bathroom?

crsyldy 19

Tuesday 8 September 2020 17:10

Dude that’s what toilets are for.

Shzusuziq 16

Tuesday 8 September 2020 16:17

Why would you puke “out a window” of a place you rented? Anything wrong with the bathroom?

crsyldy 19

Tuesday 8 September 2020 17:10

Dude that’s what toilets are for.

samomaha 17

Tuesday 8 September 2020 23:08

Seriously? You puked out the window. How is that you are so immature? Either that, or alcoholic. I wouldn't have given you dirty looks, I'd have kicked you out of my business.