Work, Health Covid Get your vaccinations if you can

Get your vaccinations if you can

Jules - 25/04/2021 00:30

Today, we’re supposed to check people’s temperatures before their COVID vaccination. The thermometers don’t work, though. We’re told to just press the on-off-button twice, so they make the same beep-beep sound as if they were functioning to make people feel safe. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 06/11/2014 12:15 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML

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asstomouth - 29/05/2010 18:20 - France

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

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Push!

sabadaba - 19/06/2011 17:51 - United States

Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML

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anonymous - 18/09/2009 17:48 - France

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

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Good boy

Anonymous - 13/11/2025 15:00

Today, I took my dog to the vet. The vet asked me to hold him still and keep him chill while he took his temperature rectally. My dog freaked out, jumped, and the thermometer hit me in the face. The vet just said, “That’s a first.” FML

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Human interface

Anonymous - 24/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, at a supermarket self-checkout, I loudly complained to the machine, “Why won’t you scan, you useless idiot?” An employee walked up behind me and said, “You need to press ‘Start.’” FML

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**** management

jobless! - 17/10/2021 23:00

Today, I tried to clock in at 2 pm, but the machine was malfunctioning and kept refusing my card until 2:01. Just yesterday, our manager gave a long angry speech about firing the next person who doesn’t clock in when they’re supposed to, “on the dot.” FML

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Cold snap

Anonymous - 05/04/2022 06:00 - Germany

Today, we're both sick, the heating hasn’t been working for 3 days, yet the repair company refuses to fix it because some technicality is not up to current regulations. Right on time, we’re also about to be hit by a cold spell, promising sub-zero temperatures. FML

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lovedbyallthewrongppl - 28/11/2010 01:03 - United States

Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML

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Toxic cloud

sick of this - 22/02/2022 06:01

Today, like every other day, if you are sick before or during work, you immediately get sent to get COVID tested. I don’t think my sickening pregnancy hormones need COVID testing, just fresh air away from my coworker who has sulfur running through his ass. FML

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Regis Bent 12

Sunday 25 April 2021 1:41

Tell an actual health authority or someone along those lines. That seems really sketchy and somewhat illegal.

rainbowdonnareed 18

Sunday 25 April 2021 5:34

Get your own at amazon

Regis Bent 12

Sunday 25 April 2021 1:41

Tell an actual health authority or someone along those lines. That seems really sketchy and somewhat illegal.

rainbowdonnareed 18

Sunday 25 April 2021 5:34

Get your own at amazon

bleachedraven 14

Sunday 25 April 2021 18:35

Twice covers your ass, 3rd tines a charm. But am I the only one thinking there are different types of thermometers...if the modern type isn't working, go back to basics.