Today, I received a call from a top-rated university accepting me into the program of my dreams to begin my ultimate career. Two weeks ago, I accepted a permanent, full time and legally-binding job position in my depressive hometown because the school had previously rejected me. FML 1 170 145
Today, it's National Girlfriends Day. My boyfriend stood me up, blamed it on his mom, and then decided he was going to go hang out with his friends. FML 319 201
Today, I was trying to ease off a caffeine headache. I ended up getting a Brain Freeze. FML 1 205 337
Today, I saw my uncle after six months. The first thing he says to me is, 'I didn't even recognize you! You've gained so much weight.' Gee thanks uncle. Just what I wanted to hear. FML 3 910 941
Today, I changed my name on YouTube to Fancy Hobo and then sent an email to a well-admired professor. Little did I know my email was linked to YouTube. Yes, Fancy Hobo sent a very professional email about registration for grad school. FML 633 2 086
Today, I brought my boyfriend to my house for the first time. He freaked out when he saw my cat, and had to leave because he's allergic. I've posted many pictures of my cat in Instagram, but he didn't say anything about his allergy because he thought it was just a random cat. FML 2 435 292
Not even trying
Funnyman has no idea how to control his balls