Poopoo peepee, Gross, Roommate Health Genius - FML

Genius

Anonymous - 18/01/2011 18:35 - United States

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Dude, WTF?

Anonymous - 18/03/2016 20:57 - United States - Valley Stream

Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML

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owie - 29/08/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, after breaking my leg, I'm unable to put any weight on it whatsoever. Our bedroom? Upstairs. Our only bathroom? Basement. My husband thought it would be a great idea to leave me alone and unable to walk to go babysit his nieces. I had to piss in a bucket. FML

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Splish splash, I was taking a bath

Anonymous - 15/04/2021 13:59 - Canada

Today, my neighbour decided to get high while leaving his bathtub running, resulting in passing out and starting a flood in the hallways. FML

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WTF dude?

MyS3lf - 19/04/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML

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SinkyBalls - 30/08/2011 03:56 - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

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gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

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jdch_99 - 03/11/2012 05:34 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

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Poor little guy

anonymous - 16/09/2022 02:30 - United States - Maryville

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML

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Average "alternative medicine" enjoyer

- 07/11/2025 09:00

Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML

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Heavenly Shower

deadgrass - 29/03/2012 00:44 - United States - Middletown

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

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stronghand0331 17

Tuesday 18 January 2011 23:07

That's not laziness, that is pure innovation.

IFightFoos 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 23:12

Idiot? That man is a genius!

Melaniee_fml 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 4:54

this guy is my hero

rogermar000 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 5:01

This is so epic that it's cruel!:)

Tha_Jocka44 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 5:05

that idiot is very smart! HATER

sbmetal17 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 5:06

this man is a genius!

howslife123 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 5:17

just don't knock the bucket over...

WhataWook 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 6:08

At least he's a mcgyver kind of idiot

SulfurPlague 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 6:19

haha! this guy knows what's up. gotta try that.

katie4young 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 6:22

genius.

lolol_BKYCHO 3

Wednesday 19 January 2011 6:23

Is he single? Totally kidding. Calm down.

doctorturkleton 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 6:29

at least he's not making YOU do everything for him.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

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Today, I was looking online at the gym memberships in my neighborhood, because I'm getting old and unfit. As I was looking at the prices, thanks to some well-placed advertisement magic, I found myself ordering a pizza, then binge-watching Netflix. It seems that motivation is just a click away, but pizza is my kryptonite. FML

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Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML

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Today, after I helped get my boyfriend get a new job, he thanked me by dumping me for some whore who works there. FML

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Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML

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Today, I stretched really hard when I woke up, only to feel something twang. This was followed by a really sharp pain. Thinking I'd given myself a hernia, I got up to check myself in the mirror, and was repulsed by the bulge I saw hanging out of my gut. Then I realised it was just my own flab. FML

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