Sex, Roommate, Relatable Wanker Gagging for it

Gagging for it

Anonymous - 20/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML

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Anonymous - 29/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Normal

Today, it's the 6th day in a row my roommate has not left our dorm room. I miss jacking off. FML

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Danny - 28/05/2012 18:02 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

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Frustrated

skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

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awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

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What a jerk!

traumatized house keeper - 08/09/2017 13:00 - Germany - Munster

Today, while cleaning the hostel, I had to make some beds in a dorm room. There were three guys in the room, one of whom was sitting on a bed. He looked me straight in the eye and I gave him a big smile before I realized he was jerking off. FML

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Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

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idontwanttoknow - 16/06/2013 11:37 - United States

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

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mrboston - 01/09/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

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MY EARS! MY EARS!

ashbeat - 01/01/2013 15:20 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

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Roommates from hell

Anonymous - 09/11/2022 04:00

Today, my roommate is super comfortable around me. Comfortable enough to masturbate while we are in the same room. I asked him to stop, which took some self-control because I wanted to shout at him. He said he needs to do it because of his shin splints. Whatever. FML

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Thaylok 17

Monday 20 February 2023 20:43

Pavlov would like to speak with you. maybe you should get out more yourself.

Ubehage 32

Tuesday 21 February 2023 1:49

First time you could jack off IN PEACE? How many times you did it not in peace?

Thaylok 17

Monday 20 February 2023 20:43

Pavlov would like to speak with you. maybe you should get out more yourself.

Brightside86 30

Monday 20 February 2023 21:53

Sounds like you should get a girlfriend. Heads up it will never be easier than when you are in college right now.

Ubehage 32

Tuesday 21 February 2023 1:49

First time you could jack off IN PEACE? How many times you did it not in peace?

mambamami15 2

Friday 3 March 2023 1:23

relatable the worst is if they forget something & double back and catch you OMG

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML

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Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML

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Today, I was fired for not completing the required computer training, which no one told me about. I was told that it's my responsibility to check it every week. It would have been nice if a single one of my supervisors had given me any indication whatsoever that this was the case. FML

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Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML

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Today, I was doing squats at the gym. I caught my reflection in the mirror, got distracted by how awkward I looked, and lost my balance. I fell backward onto a medicine ball, rolled into another person’s legs, and took them down with me. We ended up in a sweaty heap. FML

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Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML

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