Fun fun fun

Rachel - 27/10/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, I spent my entire day building various zoos in Zoo Tycoon, and then releasing all of the animals to see them chase people. FML

425

833

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Animal union

Anonymous - 01/02/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML

600

288

poomaster - 22/11/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML

28 825

5 173

steve - 23/12/2011 03:02 - United States

Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML

9 439

35 875

DuhSteven - 06/06/2012 17:04 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML

11 497

26 593

mike h - 10/08/2012 04:37 - United States - Mcadoo

Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML

37 485

4 857

teacher - 25/01/2013 05:25 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

35 601

3 186

I'm not getting paid enough for this shit

Username - 20/10/2010 18:08 - France

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

30 670

3 499

Anonymous - 23/08/2012 16:50 - Canada - London

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

11 663

29 831

Life is life

Anonymous - 01/07/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent a good hour playing a life simulation game so my character could go through the stages of pregnancy and labor, only to jealously cry for an hour because my character can successfully get pregnant and have a baby, and I can't. FML

482

247

foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

48 333

3 838

Sencilia101 31

Tuesday 27 October 2020 19:01

I think everyone does that while playing Zoo Tycoon.

red6joker 8

Wednesday 28 October 2020 11:55

welcome to the club of 98% of players

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 27 October 2020 8:11

So, you want to be Carole Baskin?

lev 11

Tuesday 27 October 2020 12:34

you need to get a life. or maybe you already have too much life and this was your way of resting.

Sencilia101 31

Tuesday 27 October 2020 19:01

I think everyone does that while playing Zoo Tycoon.

red6joker 8

Wednesday 28 October 2020 11:55

welcome to the club of 98% of players

DragonflyGal 2

Friday 30 October 2020 3:41

Was there any blood?! 🤣

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my 5-year-old decided that it would be a great idea to try to paint her nails in secret. As a result, I now get to learn how to remove copious amounts of dark nail polish from a wide variety of materials, including my apartment's 1/2-inch thick shag rug. FML

38 830

5 021

Today, the police showed up at my door asking if I told this creepy guy stalking my girlfriend that I'll chop him up and bury each piece in a different country if he doesn't stop bothering my girl. I told them I did, along with an explanation. Turns out, he's been missing since that day. FML

3 208

623

Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML

42 836

4 346

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

10 130

55 478

Today, I once again had to explain that my husband's vasectomy was because we really don't want children, and that, "but you can always adopt or try to undo the vasectomy" isn't an appropriate answer. FML

1 345

159

Today, I spent an hour meticulously crafting the perfect text to ask my crush out. Just as I hit send, I realized I'd accidentally sent a screenshot of the conversation to my crush instead. Now they know my level of commitment: zero. FML

131

563