Health, Insects, Scary Phobias Free glasses for all

Free glasses for all

Kat - 12/02/2022 12:01 - New Zealand - Gisborne

Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

JimiHendrix - 01/03/2013 01:55 - France - Luynes

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

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ohmy - 17/12/2009 19:09 - Canada

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

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Played a blinder

hereforfmls - 26/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Jasper

Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML

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Protein source

Anonymous - 13/08/2021 17:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML

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Car washed

IHateMyJob - 14/09/2010 02:00 - United States

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

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Chance encounter

Anonymous - - United States

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

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Anonymous - 17/05/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

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baconandkittens - 26/02/2012 03:13 - United States

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

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How does that happen?

Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

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Screamslikeagirl - 27/09/2016 19:17 - United States - Union City

Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML

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RichardPencil 30

Saturday 12 February 2022 1:38

At least the cicada didn't get away with your very expensive sunglasses. Sounds like a robbery gone bad.

Marcella1016 31

Saturday 12 February 2022 2:53

The beginning of this FML made me picture a hanging skeleton slowly getting sun-bleached. A cool skeleton with shades.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 12 February 2022 1:38

At least the cicada didn't get away with your very expensive sunglasses. Sounds like a robbery gone bad.

Marcella1016 31

Saturday 12 February 2022 2:53

The beginning of this FML made me picture a hanging skeleton slowly getting sun-bleached. A cool skeleton with shades.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my brother came up with what he thought was a genius idea for how to make money. I then had to explain to him that insurance fraud is illegal. FML

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Today, something flew up the back of my shorts while I was at work. I now have itchy hot welts the size of my palm coating the back and inside of both my upper thighs. FML

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Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

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Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

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Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML

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Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML

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