Intimacy FML: Uncensored - FML

FML: Uncensored

Anonymous - 15/01/2012 02:00 - United States

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

54 779

4 433

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Not a morning person

Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

536

774

Twisted

sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

25 808

4 732

Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

33 070

4 509

breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

27 687

70 001

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

1 717

231

Cheeky

woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

40 280

3 617

Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

37 831

7 813

Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

37 010

3 013

Poor pillow

Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

1 348

301

With friends like these…

marz88 - - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

40 112

7 254

JHC88 2

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:32

Wow, that was really rude of him.

123josie123 11

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:34

Ew they didn't have the decency to wait till you're gone??

SizzlePink 4

Thursday 12 September 2013 5:14

wow whoooooo does that? thats just sick and messed up!

iateapenguin 27

Wednesday 2 April 2014 23:18

It's one thing to bang on the bed you're sleeping in, but to wake you up while they're at it? I'd have slapped him good and walked out of there

Tony_Da_White 6

Wednesday 12 November 2014 7:04

You should have joined them

oasis359 13

Tuesday 11 August 2015 20:34

Wtf.... fyl

AndyKeselogano 8

Monday 7 September 2015 16:45

Your friend, and her boyfriend, has no decency.

GofuckY0urSe1f 2

Saturday 18 March 2017 9:32

join in

corky1992 33

Sunday 6 August 2017 4:37

I could never have that much disrespect for someone and have sex while they're sleeping in my bed. You need new friends.

KaYLa_LoUiSe 9

Sunday 6 August 2017 5:36

I hope you kicked him back

rustybucket 24

Sunday 6 August 2017 5:37

Ew you need better friends with more considerate boyfriends

rety1 13

Sunday 6 August 2017 5:42

sounds to me like they wanted to try out that ice bucket challenge from a year or two ago.

10
11
12
13
14
15

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after my grandfather died a month ago, my grandmother had a massive stroke. I have a sinus infection but had to be tested for Covid. I need it to show negative so I can say goodbye to the most influential woman in my life. I don’t know that results will be back in time. FML

1 275

76

Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML

504

135

Today, my mom mentioned how she loves a certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML

34 644

20 488

Today, one hour before bedtime on the last day of the school holidays, my kids informed me that they need art smocks for school. They have no idea why I'm frustrated. FML

3 636

363

Today, while driving to a client's home, I received a text. Since I loathe those who text and drive, I pulled into a convenience store's parking lot. While I was texting, a car sped into the lot, rear-ending my car. FML

16 357

1 145

Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML

10 413

1 336