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    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    FML's Showdown #5

    By Louis - 19/04/2017 21:30 - France - Saint-jean-de-braye

    This week's contest is a mixture of how-to, magic tricks and singing (if you can call it that). Check it out.
    I agree, your life sucks 826
    You deserved it 220
    Share  
    Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
    Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…
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    Top comments

    NikkiNemo 13
    Friday 21 April 2017 15:54

    dylan

    0 0
    Kelly Ann Mccutchen_184581494 6
    Friday 21 April 2017 17:49

    dylan

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    Comments

    NikkiNemo 13
    Friday 21 April 2017 15:54

    dylan

    0 0
    Kelly Ann Mccutchen_184581494 6
    Friday 21 April 2017 17:49

    dylan

    0 0
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    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, I'm home alone and it blows, especially since my wife has to stay at the hospital to get chemo, and I can't stay with her. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 327
    You deserved it 122
    Today, I got called out of class to talk to some cops. Turns out my car was involved in a hit and run accident, while I was in school and there was no possible way it could have been me. But since they have no one else, it's my fault. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 36 008
    You deserved it 2 230
    Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining, "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 95 169
    You deserved it 7 688
    Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all this, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 29 172
    You deserved it 5 123
    Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 41 895
    You deserved it 3 142
    Today, the only part of my Psychology final that I was 100% confident in was my name. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 11 538
    You deserved it 3 168
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