Health, Sex Embarrassing First time?

First time?

Anonymous - 22/02/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was mortified when I went to the doctor for what I thought was an allergic reaction rash and turned out to just be a bad carpet burn from rough sex, on my back and my ass cheeks. The doctor was visibly trying not to laugh. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

What's up, doc?

Anonymous - 07/04/2018 05:00

Today, I went to the doctor because of the redness and swelling of my penis, hoping that it was just a minor rash or allergic reaction. Nope! According to the doctor, who could barely stop herself from laughing, it's good old-fashioned friction burns. FML

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Help!

Anonymous - 03/12/2018 14:00

Today, my son begged me to take him to the doctor for the weeping bloody rash on his penis so I had to take an unpaid day off for his appointment. The doctor laughed us out the door after it turned out to be a good old-fashioned friction burn. FML

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Itchy and Scratchy

Ashley - 15/04/2021 21:30

Today, I was getting ready for a very unpleasant doctor's appointment. I got out of the shower and used a new body spray all over my torso and arms. Turns out I'm allergic to it and now my skin is on fire, so now I get to go to an already uncomfortable appointment even more uncomfortable than I'd planned. FML

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Anonymous - 10/07/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up with a carpet burn. From sleeping. Alone. In my bed. FML

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Anonymous - 04/01/2014 06:10 - United States - Rochester

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

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Fingered

Anonymous - 03/07/2023 19:00 - Finland - Tampere

Today, I went to see a doctor because of some blood in my stool. Not only is the matter embarrassing enough as is, it turned out the doctor was a young, crisply dressed, extremely handsome man. I then had his finger in my ass for a check-up, all the while him being very nice about it. I'm still mortified. FML

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Humiliated - 14/09/2009 12:58 - United States

Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML

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Foxy - 10/01/2010 17:36 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML

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ringrash - 14/01/2016 06:17 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I finally went to the doctor's office to have a small patch of acne on my stomach looked at. Since it was in an almost perfect circle and abnormally sensitive, I was worried it could be ringworm or some other sort of skin infection. It turned out to be an infection alright. Herpes. FML

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Enanimus - 25/09/2015 18:45 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I found out I'm allergic to my wife's new medicated handcream after I came down with a nasty, itchy rash on my chest, stomach, cock, and balls. FML

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Justkidding100 41

Thursday 22 February 2024 23:16

I've seen this house episode!

MidnaLink 33

Thursday 22 February 2024 23:36

I was thinking about that one. Lady's getting sleepwalking sex, yeah?

Justkidding100 41

Thursday 22 February 2024 23:16

I've seen this house episode!

MidnaLink 33

Thursday 22 February 2024 23:36

I was thinking about that one. Lady's getting sleepwalking sex, yeah?

Alan 56

Friday 23 February 2024 5:20

Damn, you guys are right. I'll be deleting this one!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after spending thousands on 4 failed IVF attempts, my husband of 3 years told me he had a drunken one night stand last month with his ex, who he said he hasn’t spoken to in years, is pregnant with his baby. There goes our future together. I thought trust and being honest meant something, but obviously not. FML

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Today, I've realized that my cat doesn't give me the time of day, unless I'm trying to do something that's difficult with a cat present, or at the very least makes it impossible for me to give him attention. Then he's all over me. It's a vicious cycle, with no end in sight. FML

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Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML

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Today, I was diagnosed with my seventh chronic illness. My body and life are getting progressively more uncomfortable, painful, exhausting, and difficult. I'm starting to wish one of them was lethal. FML

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Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML

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Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

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