Love Fart are funny, period - FML

Fart are funny, period

amg85904 - 30/01/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

This is happening

mikmak - 20/12/2015 13:26 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML

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Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

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Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

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Anonymous - 07/08/2012 14:49 - United States

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

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girlllll - 01/06/2010 12:31 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents, who I haven't known very long. I ended up falling asleep. That doesn't sound so bad, until I woke my drooling self up by snoring extremely loud. FML

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Old habits die hard

atsukobo - 10/03/2012 06:04 - United States

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

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and the truth comes out - 22/07/2014 08:44 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

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Wow - 11/04/2013 12:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

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Anonymous - 06/01/2012 15:50 - United States

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

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ihateeverything - 14/01/2015 17:35 - United States - Granbury

Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML

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Drew_D 0

Tuesday 3 February 2009 16:24

I just laughed so hard I farted.

alwaysalady 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 20:24

My husband farted so bad last night, he woke our baby and the baby cried.

jadeniscool 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 8:45

ouch... is all I gotta say....

Psychotic_Snail 0

Saturday 25 December 2010 13:30

weneed Perdix for this one :P

astriofou 0

Monday 25 April 2011 13:50

RIP IT! it keeps going and going..

ihaswaffle 0

Friday 29 April 2011 0:24

this is the funnies thing I've read so far!

marleygreenwave 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 6:50

Haha awesome

bntilley 2

Monday 15 August 2011 2:11

if he didn't freak out, you have a keeper!!

jewelsfml 0

Monday 17 October 2011 17:24

I so did that the first night I slept w my now husband. he laughed. I did pretended to keep sleeping!

LullzKitteh 1

Sunday 20 November 2011 23:43

how/why the hell is this an fml? wtf is wrong with farting?

Tha_Rage 6

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:45

hahahahaha!

maxisis_fml 6

Thursday 21 June 2012 0:38

Lmao!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my husband told me that, to feel less unreliable, he was just going to stop saying he was going to do anything around the house. That way, when he actually did something (i.e. wash dishes), I could be pleasantly surprised. FML

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Today, my wife is mad at me because she’s had to stop seeing her closest friend because of me. Why? Because her friend is stalking me, keeps asking me to divorce my wife, and has even broken in and stolen my stuff, forcing me to involve the police several times, and somehow this is all my fault. FML

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Today, I took my son to festival at a local church. He had a Nerf gun as part of his costume, but when I set it down to put something in my bag, someone walked off with it. We can't even go to a church function without running into thieves. FML

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Today, my depression has reached the point where I don't even have the energy to seriously pursue any hobbies. Any time I find the motivation to try something new, I immediately get discouraged at the slightest difficulties, and become even more depressed. I don't even know why I'm trying anymore. FML

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Today, I found out that my wife is seeing a marriage counselor. With her ex. FML

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Today, my girlfriend likes playing games on her phone more than she likes me. FML

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