Transportation False alarm - FML

False alarm

sillyrabbit - 24/02/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, after I had filled up my car and got into it I saw a cute guy running towards me. I flashed a smile and left the door open and said, "Hey" when he was next to me. He said, "The pump is still attached to your car, you really should be more careful." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Whoomp whoomp

Anonymous - 01/04/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML

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I'm an asshole

Harj - 27/11/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom - Edgware

Today, after filling fuel in my car, I drove off. The guy behind me left almost at the time. He was behind me, beeping his horn and flashing his lights. I pulled up alongside him at the lights and rolled down the window to ask him what the fuck his problem was. He promptly proceeded to tell me that my fuel cap was still open. FML

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You dipstick!

mah - 16/01/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

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stranded - 19/05/2011 11:46 - United States

Today, my car ran out of gas. I was 20 feet away from the gas pump and the only person I could ask for help was the attendant, who'd asked me out a week ago. I'd said no, and so did he. FML

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It's not what you think, sorry

Anonymous - 30/01/2010 07:04 - United States

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

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relievedbutashamed - 22/02/2019 20:00

Today, I left a coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out some really bad and loud gas. My window was partly open because it's broken. A stranger was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He looked terrified. FML

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sam - 17/01/2011 03:32

Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML

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**(: - 09/08/2011 04:23 - United States

Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

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Easy mistake

NoFightResponse - 24/04/2009 03:53 - United States

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

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Disappointed

Lonelyhopeful - 05/12/2016 20:08

Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down, he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML

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Bauer_fml 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 9:06

Smoooooooooth. (Dear FML members, I know there's a pun somewhere in this FML. Find it.)

Chiroptera_Man 10

Monday 14 October 2013 20:13

He must have not been too hot, or else this could have been a very flammable situation! :D 'Cause of the gas... and... hot.. fire... stuff. c:

blkwhtrbbt 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 9:38

shoulda flirted!!!!

zezjo 3

Sunday 11 April 2010 19:31

Agreed.

chimpsndip 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 11:29

not really man. youre just jealous. akso, we dont drive horrible. we drive agressive

xNephilim 18

Monday 27 September 2010 23:59

At least he wasn't a jerk like most people here! He could've said, "You dumbass bitch, yo pump ain't pulled out!" Yeah... Anyway. At least he cared!

mfelax9556 8

Friday 21 October 2011 1:16

OP said AFTER filling up the car.

thecrapblog 8

Sunday 25 November 2012 15:01

Everyone should vote for a “ You Deserved It” because this isn't really an FML at all. They just want to get attention from other people on the site!

Stephanie_Jane 10

Tuesday 13 May 2014 1:40

You're special.

Pixiewolfe 46

Friday 2 June 2017 18:46

well, he had a point!

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Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

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Today, I sat on the sofa for eleven hours, paralyzed with anxiety. When my husband got home, nothing was done. We ate cold sandwiches off paper plates. Now he has to catch up on everything and I feel so useless I could just cry. FML

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Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML

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Today, my wife crushed my cell phone with a heavy plate. She offered to pay for it in sex, which I eagerly accepted. When I asked her for “a downpayment” an hour later, she looked at me like she’d accommodated this arrangement for far too long already. FML

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Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not." FML

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Today, I accidentally left the handbrake off in my car, got out, locked it, and started walking away. Then I heard a loud noise and looked over my shoulder and the car was gone. Of course, it hit the only other car parked in the street. FML

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