Sex, Weird Intimacy Enticing - FML

Enticing

Anonymous - 20/06/2014 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Double standard

NoSexForMe - 13/07/2014 07:46 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

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Make your mind up!

nextcontestant16 - 19/11/2012 15:12 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

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Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

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Gimme the D

Anonymous - 07/02/2024 11:00 - United States - Citrus Heights

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML

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omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

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Major red flag

Anonymous - 25/02/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom - Ashfield

Today, my boyfriend has been super nice to me all day and I was enjoying the attention. At bedtime, he asked me if I was happy, I said yes, he asked if was I happy enough to try butt stuff. I said no, like I do every time he asks for butt stuff. He turned over and went to sleep. So much for being nice. FML

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Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

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dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

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So generous

noway - 10/08/2011 17:47 - Singapore

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

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anon - 27/07/2015 04:43 - United States

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

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Kamon97 23

Saturday 21 June 2014 5:36

Maybe he was really tired? :s

EdenCrystal 21

Saturday 21 June 2014 5:39

This isn't really relevant but next time he does this you should say "Fine, then can you give me one?" and see his reaction

imnotme333 7

Tuesday 24 June 2014 21:10

Try the BJ alarm clock. it's the best!

reno1496 6

Wednesday 25 June 2014 3:54

hmmmm.... something is very wrong with that

AniNinja 6

Wednesday 25 June 2014 23:16

Either your boyfriend is gay cheating on you our he really hates your ********

RadicalRenay 4

Friday 27 June 2014 15:55

You must give shitty ********..

duckguy80 0

Sunday 29 June 2014 5:33

I'd take one

penguin2000 2

Monday 30 June 2014 20:39

Turn down for what

penguin2000 2

Monday 30 June 2014 20:41

Next time he asks u to give him one say ..............**** no

anonymous1604_fml 19

Friday 4 July 2014 5:23

Well he's just plain stupid

McAz 4

Saturday 5 July 2014 8:02

Maybe he didn't shower?

Icebrisket 5

Saturday 5 July 2014 23:13

You must be pretty damn bad to have a guy turn down a free ********

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, even though my mom’s only ever been to the south once, she’s completely obsessed with talking with a bad, overly exaggerated southern accent. Not to mention constantly prattling off random nonsensical country phrases. We’re from and still live in California, nowhere near any country. FML

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Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

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Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

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Today, on my metro ride home, I sat next to a woman who thought it was appropriate to continually scratch at her scalp and then eat her 'scalp pickings'. When I looked over at her hair, I could see scabs clumped together from her previous scratching sessions. FML

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Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. It wasn't until the huge fight which ended with us breaking up did I realize that I was snowed in with him. One day down, two to go. FML

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Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

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