Intimacy Emergency

Emergency

Anonymous - 03/05/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of two years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
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Treasure hunt

bubbalicious - 13/08/2009 20:57 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

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Freakout

Anonymous - - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

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Oh, hi Mark!

Anonymous - 26/08/2012 05:46 - United States - Olympia

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

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Disrespectful

awskme - 09/01/2010 00:36 - France

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML

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Oh no…

Oh... - 26/07/2019 16:00 - Australia

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

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FullMonty - 15/09/2012 23:26 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

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Ribbed for Her Disaster - 04/04/2013 16:04 - United Kingdom - Orpington

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

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scot - 02/09/2012 15:38 - United States - Granby

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

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Anonymous - 26/07/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

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lolk - 10/03/2013 07:41 - United States - Little Rock

Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML

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YOUNGSMUTTY 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:08

That's sad. I hope your grandma's alright! You're such a sweet boy for going home to help her. I'll take your virginity ;) Haha jk.

shortandloud 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:09

That sucks about not getting sex but I have to say that the whole getting stuck between the bowl and the wall is pretty hilarious.

ammali 0

Monday 4 May 2009 14:16

#50 and #52 is right, not everybody jumps into bed right away with someone. Everyone has their own timetable and every couple's different. But wow OP, heck of a sign there! Hard to say who's life is more ******, yours or your grandmother who was stuck there xD

FrayedxD 0

Monday 4 May 2009 14:44

ROFLMAO OH MY GOD. FUNNIEST THING I HAVE READ ALL DAY. DUDE YOU GOT **** BLOCKED BY YOUR GRANDMA! HAHA. F YOUR LIFE, STRAIGHT OUT. -FrayedxD

ashketchummmm 0

Monday 4 May 2009 14:52

Hhahahahahahaha i just died.

ashketchummmm 0

Monday 4 May 2009 14:56

#46, you're disgusting.

everyonehatesyou 0

Monday 4 May 2009 14:59

aww, your poor grandma!

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Monday 4 May 2009 15:10

how ******* sad is it that Fmylife has reached the point where the entries have to specify that they aren't made up.

love4running 0

Monday 4 May 2009 15:31

37- you were talking to your dad DURING sex??? talk about multitasking

thegoodlifeNOT 0

Monday 4 May 2009 15:32

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA oh man that SUCKS

whomajigi 0

Monday 4 May 2009 15:44

It's kind of quaint to wait 2 years and this is an FML, because the situation sucks. However I bet you got bonus points in your girlfriend's eyes for doing the right thing. And also, you did the right thing.