Intimacy ED FML

ED FML

Anonymous - 22/04/2011 02:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

idontevencareanymore - 23/05/2014 21:25 - United States - Jarrell

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

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Misery loves company

Anonymous - 03/10/2011 21:41 - United Kingdom

Today, my 20 year-old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

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porn daddy - 21/06/2017 00:00

Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML

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Author - 24/02/2014 22:22 - United States - Naples

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

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TMI

Anonymous - 22/05/2009 08:18 - Australia

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

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Anonymous - 12/08/2014 17:55 - United States - Newport

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

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Dad jokes!

Chels - 11/05/2011 05:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

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Parental advice

ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

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Good question

yeah why not - 06/04/2013 17:06 - Norway

Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML

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Anonymous - 16/11/2014 00:04 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML

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enonymous 8

Friday 22 April 2011 8:29

Sounds hard. did he need a stiff drink to calm his nerves? I hope you told him he was a stand up guy and didn't deserve for her to bring him down.

YankeesUniverse 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:18

Meow!

YankeesUniverse 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:18

Meow!

AnorexicMuffins 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:20

Haha well done.

persianjr1 7

Friday 22 April 2011 8:21

well at least he is open with you!!

Isabel312 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:28

it's kind of sweet

teddybobo 2

Friday 22 April 2011 8:47

plenty of medications for that

jcrob 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:52

kamagra jelly !!!

Tuesdays76 0

Friday 22 April 2011 9:04

Viva Viagra.

CrazyDutch 0

Friday 22 April 2011 9:25

ydi

Daerauko 0

Friday 22 April 2011 10:33

and then I ask myself "where is sirin or the other mod's" the first comment and everyone attached to it needs to be deleted. (including this one)

Daerauko 0

Friday 22 April 2011 10:47

heh, my comment gets deleted after pointing out how the mod's need to delete the whole thread attached to #1 and only mine got deleted. meow indeed

Primo_Loco 0

Friday 22 April 2011 14:46

I agree with 44. if your dads drunk then dip out on the man when he starts gettin into that. ydi for stickin around even tho you can easily play it offf as if you weren't there.

elainelovesyou 7

Friday 22 April 2011 15:57

Agreed with 7. But then again.. I don't really see the point of this fml. You're dad's open with you and whatever else, and you may had have to explain about his erectile, but it wasn't like he video taped it to show everybody..

eyez_lay_low1921 0

Friday 22 April 2011 16:54

ur winning.!! haha

eddieyes 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 7:37

woof woof

mexicutioner123 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 17:25

chirp chirp

EvilCupcake8361 9

Monday 22 August 2011 23:31

moo!!

LaidToRest48 9

Wednesday 2 May 2012 20:44

On s'éclate!

LordMagus 9

Saturday 28 April 2018 23:43

Sometimes that's just where you find yourself healthwise. There are medications, and if those are out, toys. I can imagine the awkwardness of the conversation. It's him and millions upon millions of other men, get it checked out for his health though, so many underlying conditions can cause that.