Love Health Dude…

Dude…

50sStyle - - United States - Hartland

Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

SMS123 - 25/06/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

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Choked

embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

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Emergency

swaiteATC - 28/07/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML

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serendipity1027 - 30/10/2010 13:40 - France

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

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Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

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Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

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Bad timing

oh no - 29/01/2013 14:51 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

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Too much of a good thing

tryingtoberomantic - 28/09/2019 14:00 - Australia

Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML

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Easy mistake

helper - 01/12/2009 06:15 - Costa Rica

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

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Little tease

pickles! - 03/06/2022 14:00

Today, I was at a friend's house teasing her with a pickle. She hates them so I thought it would be funny to pretend to deep throat it. Her dad came in and startled me so bad, I inhaled it. She had to call 911 while he performed the Heimlich maneuver. I’m no longer welcome back. FML

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pjsr 32

Tuesday 13 June 2017 2:09

He'd rather the funeral director touch your body?!

marsmonkey 9

Tuesday 13 June 2017 2:02

I'm so sorry, OP- that's really awful! Perhaps this is a sign that this boyfriend might not deserve you. If your body means more to him as his territory, if might be time to end it.

Daniel Hamm 5

Wednesday 14 June 2017 17:54

Your own fault for getting yourself involved with an idiot.

GhostFox 33

Thursday 15 June 2017 5:12

Right, because assholes that are bordering on being or are abusive go around wearing signs that say, "I would prefer my date mate dead than someone touch them to save their life." You obviously have no idea how prolific of actors and liars abusers are, especially during the courting/love bombing and desensitization periods of a relationship.

saricaste 21

Friday 16 June 2017 0:31

Dump him. Dump the jealous and controlling piece of shit.

ArmedShark 2

Friday 16 June 2017 19:41

Break up with him. NOW.

jackiistarr 6

Sunday 18 June 2017 0:59

dump his ass because that is not healthy at all. sounds really controlling and possessive

Tess390 7

Saturday 8 July 2017 11:47

when your boyfriend is more worried about someone touching your stomach to save you then actually thanking his friend for saving your life it's time to move on from him. I can't believe he didn't even care you were choking