Health, Food, Roommate Fire Dude, what the…?

Dude, what the…?

Anonymous - - Canada

Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Dumbass

Anonymous -

Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML

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Easily distracted

Jeanine - - United States

Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML

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Night time entertainment

Anonymous -

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

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Smoking is so cool

Burnt - - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

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Doofus

Coykoi - - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

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The smell test

sosadstudent - - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

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Glade

stinkystinky -

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

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Frostbite

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML

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Bad boy

Shiva - - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

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Piss off, basically

lonelyandcold - - United Kingdom - Solihull

Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML

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xX504DBXx 0

Saturday 11 December 2010 8:23

man... not the hot dogs. looks like he's just gonna have to resort to ramen. hopefully he doesn't **** that up too.

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 11 December 2010 8:38

Idiots, obviously.

ilovedwh 7

Saturday 11 December 2010 20:48

like honestly you deserve it. kick him our or move

angelove91 0

Saturday 11 December 2010 20:57

ydi u shouldve kicked him out or at least banned him from kicking after the first or second time!

angelove91 0

Saturday 11 December 2010 21:04

^ cooking not kicking

abcde_fz 0

Saturday 11 December 2010 22:20

holy crap that is really funny. next week he'll flood the place making Ramen

musiclover247 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 3:34

keep him out of the kitchen

mcrader5840 0

Monday 13 December 2010 4:32

it might be time to find another roomate

RubieTuesdayT 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 3:37

this legit made me lol, thank you.

Ugi 26

Thursday 17 January 2013 11:15

It is possible to cook a hotdog by wiring it directly to the mains electricity (really, really, don't try this at home boys & girls). This is the only way I can imagine that you could start a fire cooking a hotdog! e.g. www.evilmadscientist.com/2007/cooking-hot-dogs-via-electrocution/