Intimacy Double-edged sword

Double-edged sword

Janitoro - 23/11/2012 01:19 - United States

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

In training

Anonymous - 13/12/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML

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Miscommunication

Anonymous - 25/10/2012 05:45 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

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PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

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hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

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Hidden

bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

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noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

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Repetitive

justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

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Ohai - 16/01/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

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The pleasure, the pain

BadBribe - 24/06/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

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katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

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LiyIa_fml 8

Friday 23 November 2012 8:22

Practice makes perfect?

RoboCunnilingus 23

Friday 23 November 2012 8:23

On the bright side, at least she isn't giving them to someone else.

ChaoSKinG86 7

Tuesday 27 November 2012 0:45

Pratice pratice pratice. Be honest with her and tell her how you like it

pancakes_O_O 3

Tuesday 27 November 2012 3:21

******** are like pizza. Even when they're bad, they're still pretty damn good. So appreciate them.

leadwithlove 1

Thursday 29 November 2012 5:34

How can you be bad at that. So simple.

HitchHiker42 18

Thursday 29 November 2012 12:08

Who cares if she's not great at them? She enjoys sucking your dick, so why complain? Besides, she'll get better.

slendamon 0

Sunday 2 December 2012 7:48

Iknow how you feel bro :/

bobbigirl71 2

Tuesday 4 December 2012 12:34

Omg Dude,You MUST have done something really bad in a past life for that one!!

ryan1268 18

Thursday 6 December 2012 4:52

She will end up getting it right. Just tell her what she needs to work on I know how you feel.

Le_Tsu 1

Thursday 6 December 2012 22:32

Practice makes perfect. No one starts out good.

SamCrow 1

Monday 10 December 2012 21:52

Teach her what u like

Chrisrulez66 9

Tuesday 2 February 2016 22:35

Many do not learn. I tried to teach my ex.. 7 years. That bitch would still use her teeth almost every time

Playnwitu 0

Wednesday 12 December 2012 14:46

She'll get better bro I think its a good thing you can kinda guide her to what you like. Be happy you have a ball of clay waiting to be molded!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my husband is becoming more uncivilised the older he gets, as I had to remind him to put trousers on while we have guests in the house, and over dinner he was picking his belly button at the table. FML

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Today, I was fired for not completing the required computer training, which no one told me about. I was told that it's my responsibility to check it every week. It would have been nice if a single one of my supervisors had given me any indication whatsoever that this was the case. FML

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Today, I was going to a talent show. On the way there, my car broke down, I lost my keys, and managed to slam my hand in a window. I got there and waited in the theater for an hour, before a janitor came by and said, "Show is tomorrow, lady." FML

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Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML

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Today, I signed my own plaster-cast to make people believe that I actually have friends. FML

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Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

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