Awkward, Parents Intimacy Don't wanna know

Don't wanna know

Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

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CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

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more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

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linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

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confused_girl - 01/08/2013 05:10 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

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tobuscus9412 - 22/03/2015 01:04 - Australia - Woronora

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

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Thanks mom

Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

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PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

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The birds and the bees

Anonymous - 04/08/2022 18:00

Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML

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Scarred for life

Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

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TheFlyingMan 8

Wednesday 16 February 2011 12:09

I bet she's pretty good.

Asoka_fml_fml 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 12:45

you should've said "mom said your dicks small"

TheKingOfHearts 19

Tuesday 4 August 2015 16:51

OH NO......... I

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my girlfriend confessed to cheating on me. Unfortunately, she's a pathological liar and I can't be sure if it's really true, along with half the stuff she tells me on a daily basis. Love is hard. FML

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My long-distance partner came to visit me for the weekend. When he arrived he seemed moody and tired, and refused any kind of physical contact. Upset, I asked him what was wrong. Turns out he's mad for coming to see me because I've put on weight, making the trip a waste of his time. FML

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Today, my crush from high school finally agreed to go out with me. While on the seemingly good date, she offered me a discount to her OnlyFans page. FML

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Today, I had an appointment with my dentist to check for cavities. He told me that most of my teeth have cavities, and that I may need a root canal. In fact, I ended up actually getting a painful root canal. FML

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Today, I started my first day of nursing clinicals. My first patient was none other than my ex-girlfriend, who I recently broke up with. She has an STI. She told me I needed to get checked. FML

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Today, a house I'm working in burned down overnight. My entire cordless tool line up and everything else needed to remodel a 3-story home is gone. Almost $14000. The only way I will be somewhat, maybe, possibly, reimbursed is if I stay on to rebuild the home. I don't have anything left to even start. FML

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