ACAB Miscellaneous Don't dick around with those guys - FML

Don't dick around with those guys

Cuntface McGee - 21/02/2014 21:37 - Romania - Dej

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

goodgrief - 05/03/2013 05:08 - United States - Rio Rancho

Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

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Sketchy

Notadrinkanddriveidiot - - United States

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the backseat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

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What did you expect?

Overzealous cop of the day - 10/04/2025 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML

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What we do in the shadows

suspiciouspeople - - United States

Today, I discovered that sitting in the back of your car from 8 to 9 p.m. talking with a friend in a park area is suspicious enough behavior to have cops called on you, then for backup to arrive. FML

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Anonymous - 19/05/2015 20:49 - Germany - Stuttgart

Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML

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Suspicious activity

AC712 - 08/09/2021 05:01 - United States - Butler

Today, my BFF and I put our kids on the bus, and went shopping and have lunch. We were both eating a gross amount of Taco Bell sitting in the middle of the parking lot. The cops pulled up. Someone had called them, saying we were doing drugs because of the way we were sitting. FML

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karl - 10/01/2009 06:50 - Ireland

Today, we were out smoking a bit of spliff just walking around. We saw a place to sit down in this little car park we were walking past. The cops came over and busted us. Turns out we were in the main car park for the cop shop. FML

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tvaladie - 17/04/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

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High performance, high risk quipping

Anonymous - 29/04/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML

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ifaisal - 26/02/2010 03:05 - Qatar

Today, I was on a date with someone I've had a crush on for a long time. It was after midnight, we were chatting in the car and I was close to having my first kiss ever. That is, until a bunch of policemen popped up to arrest my date for being a suspected drug dealer. FML

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adamo_erebus 26

Saturday 22 February 2014 5:21

With al the cop stories I'm reading about on this site, I think it's safe to say that the police have zero sense of humour.

TXFernwoods 26

Saturday 22 February 2014 5:24

Your "friend" is really ******* stupid.

olpally 32

Saturday 22 February 2014 5:39

I hope your friend gets his a friendly visit from bubba in jail now.

jlamb0328 4

Saturday 22 February 2014 5:42

What if he just said it sarcastically to throw the cop off??

stargirl_95 24

Saturday 22 February 2014 17:22

Then he still deserved it. The cop was just doing his job. There was no need for OP's friend to be an ass

rawlings123 17

Saturday 22 February 2014 5:47

I ******* hate cops. There's no reason to walk up to that car.

Smoothiemuch 8

Saturday 22 February 2014 5:49

LOL well... Chandler Bing can get away with sarcastic jokes, not you.

lifeof_toad 19

Saturday 22 February 2014 5:53

That's a dumb thing to joke about around a cop.

Coeliacchic93 21

Saturday 22 February 2014 14:40

Could he BE anymore stupid?

TehPurdo 4

Saturday 22 February 2014 6:09

Wow, I didn't think anybody was worse than me with sarcasm! I guess I'm wrong!

AnonymousUsers 14

Saturday 22 February 2014 6:18

I think you need to reconsider your friends.

Baller_Bob 17

Saturday 22 February 2014 6:24

This is totally unrelated but this is the first post I've seen from Romania

zsxwrsd 7

Monday 24 February 2014 8:05

how dare you post an unrelated comment! Down vote for you

YBae 27

Saturday 22 February 2014 6:44

Nearly happened to me today! Let go with only a warning though, thank God...

elmatador615 12

Saturday 22 February 2014 7:17

Reminds me of when Gabriel Iglesias would talk about his friend Felipe

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw someone I thought I knew. I waved enthusiastically and shouted, "Hey!" The person stared blankly at me, so I quickly turned it into a wave at someone else behind them. There was no one behind them. I was just waving and yelling into the void like an idiot. FML

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Today, I got my paycheck. I was really excited since I've been broke for the last two weeks. On my way home, I got pulled over and got a ticket for expired tags. The $90 for new tags plus $135 for the citation will leave me with enough to buy a burger. FML

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Today, I hosted a New Year’s Eve party, but everyone left at 11:45 PM to go to another party because "it sounded more fun." I rang in the new year alone. FML

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Today, after a week of severe gastroenteritis that required a hospital stay, I was finally feeling well enough to go in the pool at our holiday resort. My fiance slipped on the edge of the pool and we're back in the hospital. Happy vacation! FML

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Today, the guy I’ve been hanging out with and crushing on told me we now know each other well enough to be completely open with each other. I was excited, thinking our mild flirtations would finally go further. He just wanted me to know he’s gay, and asked me if I knew any single guys for him. FML

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Today, I was informed after submitting my request to have Christmas off about 2 weeks prior to Thanksgiving that I was denied. About 15 minutes later, I overheard the person that denied my request talking with another agent, who put their request in today, that they were granted the holiday off. FML

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