Dog Box Fail By FML Approved - 17/10/2017 14:30 - United States - New York Think outside the box! I agree, your life sucks 455 You deserved it 97 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was out with friends, A girl approached me out of nowhere and gave me a peck on the cheek, then yelled to my friend, "I kissed him, where's that drink you promised?" only for him to equally loudly reply, "I said I'd buy you a drink to TALK to him." Apparently, even bribery isn't enough for a woman to talk to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 969 You deserved it 112
Today, my husband told me he'd met a life guru online who, after paying the £29.99 consultancy fee, advised him to seize happiness at all times. So he decided to seize the 19 year-old redhead across the street, move in with her and get her pregnant. This is the happiest I’ve seen him in years. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 312 You deserved it 309
Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML I agree, your life sucks 23 562 You deserved it 78 994
Today, all I wanted after a bad week was a takeaway. We had a few houseguests, plus my wife and kids, so the order was on the large side. When it came, the order was perfect, except mine. The only things they forgot were my starter, my main, my side order, and my dessert. Everything else was perfect. FML I agree, your life sucks 967 You deserved it 108
Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 425 You deserved it 3 574
Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 737 You deserved it 311
"Hey Ralph, check out my new box!" "Hang on Fred, I gotta bark at this idiot carrying around a box!"