Intimacy Denied! - FML

Denied!

Anonymous - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, I got cock-blocked by the laundry. My boyfriend was the one who wanted to do laundry. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Toxic masculinity = No housework

sigh - 24/11/2011 19:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got upset after I politely asked him to do the laundry. He takes every chance he gets to act macho and brag to people about how he's in the Marines, but apparently he is too much of a pussy to act like a man and clean his own clothes. FML

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Anonymous - 18/11/2015 11:40 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my boyfriend canceled our date last-minute. He claimed he had no time because he had to iron his towels. FML

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Funky

Cleanfreak? - 25/06/2017 00:00 - Denmark - ?lborg

Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML

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HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

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Angry - 04/08/2009 20:21 - United States

Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML

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Anonymous - 26/12/2011 15:32 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML

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081013 - 02/03/2013 07:23 - United States - Columbus

Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML

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Get the hint

-.- - 24/08/2013 23:54 - United States

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

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Georgia - 13/05/2011 01:02

Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML

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Turn on

RuasaLove - 30/07/2015 02:34 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

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Big_Red_138 3

Monday 4 July 2011 23:09

Tell him to do you on the washer while it's cleaning the clothes. Multitasking ftw

zach5432 3

Monday 4 July 2011 23:08

seems to me that you should have done the laundry naked.

cre8or99 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 3:43

I wonder if she tells him to make her a sammich

angelpies 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 3:49

Why are you bitching? At least you have a boyfriend who actually does things.. Besides laundry doesn't take long to switch it over. Could you not have waited?

WDLfootball 8

Tuesday 5 July 2011 3:59

So op... let me get this straight. your a girl who wants to have a lot of sex and doesn't Wan't the guy to do anything? where have you been all my life? will you marry me?? ;)

mrtoby 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 4:00

you need to step up your game.

Scooter42 15

Tuesday 5 July 2011 4:19

If you got **** blocked maybe the problem is that you have a ****.

mjhcc 6

Tuesday 5 July 2011 4:28

I'll make him do me while the clothe's washing. It'll be fun :)

GrahamAker 3

Tuesday 5 July 2011 4:31

lose the weight.

pookie1006 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 5:23

I think I used to be with him. well hope he's better in bed than mine was!

NaggerHagger 6

Tuesday 5 July 2011 6:10

What does that mean?

danica45 7

Tuesday 5 July 2011 6:34

why couldn't you add "what" before "the ****" - that bothers me I'm sorry but that's really dumb...

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

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Today, it's -5°C outside and snowing and it's only September. If that wasn’t bad enough, we aren't allowed to have the heat on at work due to a menopausal monster who loses her shit and throws things if we turn it on. I can't feel my toes. FML

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Today, I saw my ex asking for change outside a store. I was so shocked and sad to see him in such a position, I offered to take him home with me, let him shower and cook him a good meal. He laughed in my face and said, "Nah, I just do this for some quick bucks. It’s easier than working." FML

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Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

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Today, I moved fifteen stacks of bricks from our store to a customer's van. After I made all that effort, he decided he didn't like the colour of the bricks after all, and demanded a full refund. FML

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Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

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