Farts Work Denial - FML

Denial

Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
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yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

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Anonymous - 23/05/2012 20:38 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

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Sorry, I…

Anonymous - 07/02/2015 14:33 - United States - Brownwood

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

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Toot toot

Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML

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Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

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Many such cases

Anonymous - 10/04/2025 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was in a meeting at work, trying to keep my composure. I quietly shifted in my chair and accidentally let out a fart. It echoed in the conference room, and everyone stared at me in stunned silence. My boss sarcastically said, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” FML

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It's a gas gas gas

annie - 16/02/2023 04:00

Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML

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dealtit - 30/07/2014 03:49 - United States - Toccoa

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

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The sweet smell of success

NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

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Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

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Medieval_Unicorn 24

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:48

You gotta own it, assert dominance, they'll know you don't mess around if you make eye contact while it's happening

Stripez234 16

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:45

That... Is utterly hilarious

Stripez234 16

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:45

That... Is utterly hilarious

stevenbro 6

Thursday 8 September 2016 22:29

pandaxpress 19

Friday 9 September 2016 1:56

It was actually pretty damn useful and funny.

faeliality 20

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:48

Zebediabolical 40

Thursday 8 September 2016 20:40

...this is how lifelong work nicknames happen.

Comebackkid420 7

Friday 9 September 2016 7:29

Why, because OP had a completely normal bodily function? Wow.

Winterborn253 7

Friday 9 September 2016 9:30

I believe "Shaggy" may be an appropriate nickname considering her comment.

andrmac 25

Saturday 10 September 2016 8:56

Well the "Fart Lady," Shartzilla and Countess Sharts-o-lot would be appropriate.

Medieval_Unicorn 24

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:48

You gotta own it, assert dominance, they'll know you don't mess around if you make eye contact while it's happening

Chikiriwak 17

Friday 9 September 2016 1:57

The most clever comment in here.

lambda_fml 40

Friday 9 September 2016 21:46

The most clever reply to a comment in here.

CamBamShamDaMan 26

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:49

If it wasn't you then who the hell was it?

DravensTheName 16

Thursday 8 September 2016 15:00

Can't tell if you're being sarcastic or you're just high..

MisterEx 28

Friday 9 September 2016 5:15

the dog.

stryder9090 28

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:49

No shame. Wear it like a champ.

Elban 20

Thursday 8 September 2016 18:14

Yup, bow and accept the applause.

Nickimariek 20

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:57

Well it must not have smelled bad enough to make them run away before figuring out who did it.

foolest 7

Thursday 8 September 2016 15:11

man that stinks

BDanzeisen 20

Thursday 8 September 2016 15:22

It wasn't me! Just being there sounds hilarious to me. Fyl

Andrewx8 12

Thursday 8 September 2016 15:23

Nice fart. Conflatulations.

Emma1562 35

Thursday 8 September 2016 17:20

You're punderful

FalloutScrolls 25

Thursday 8 September 2016 15:31

This made me laugh so hard, coca-cola shot out of my nose.

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Today, while at my friend's house, I noticed her brother had a bit of an accent. I laughingly said "Is it me or does your little brother have an accent?" She stared and replied with "No, he has autism." FML

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Today, I was scrolling through my Instagram timeline and saw a picture of my friend in a ridiculous wig. I left a comment telling her how stupid the wig looked, but how great it was to have a friend with a sense of humour. She replied, telling me it wasn't a wig, it was her new hairstyle. FML

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Today, I took my date home for sex after quite a long dry spell. As he took off his shoes, I was hit right in the nose by the most disgusting foot odour I've ever encountered. It was so bad I forgot all about sex and threw him out. That was 3 hours ago and I can still smell it on the carpet. FML

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Today, at work, I had an accident and cracked a rib. I got taken to hospital where I got checked over. The doctor said it was a good job I hadn't got a chest infection nor a cold. Funny you should say that doc, I have both. She replied, "Well, that's bad…" FML

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