Love, Annoying Cute David Attenborough

David Attenborough

types - - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided he was going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Noise annoys

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

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Skip intro

Anonymous - 25/07/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about what happened to me during the day when he stopped me mid-sentence, asked me to skip the middle and to go right to the end of the story, because he could feel himself slowly dying of boredom. Rude much? FML

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sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

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a2 - 06/02/2014 06:57 - Australia - Bayswater

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

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Gotta get that clout

Debate bros STFU - 26/07/2021 06:01

Today, my live-in boyfriend spent yet another evening trying to bait Twitch streamers into a debate about stuff he barely understands. He's obsessed with "growing his audience", and I'm getting tired of his bullshit. FML

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kj1 - 17/02/2014 18:28 - United States - Draper

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

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Hush

sXeQueen - 13/03/2010 15:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was having a really bad day, so I decided to call him and try to calm him down. At one point, I thought it would be sweet to sing him a song since he claimed to love my voice. Before I could get half way through, he told me to shut up because I was getting on his nerves and just making things worse. FML

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Anonymous - 11/09/2012 19:16 - Sweden - Guayanilla

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

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Misophonist or misogynist?

Knot in my throat - 12/09/2023 00:02

Today, my boyfriend said to me, in front of his friends, “Can you stop breaking out into song all the time? It’s getting really annoying.” FML

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Gonna need that channel name

alyssac11 - 25/05/2010 04:55 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML

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Redoxx_fml 22

Friday 2 March 2012 19:00

"And then she typed angrily on her computer all the while telling me to stop narrating"

AllSoul 23

Friday 2 March 2012 18:56

Peter Griffin?

itsmelaura 1

Saturday 3 March 2012 1:11

At least he's paying attention to you!!:P

jdcg116 10

Saturday 3 March 2012 1:36

Waitl til the heat of the moment. Then narrate him in detail

Nwthatzfunny 9

Saturday 3 March 2012 1:41

dat would be fun

HogwartsDropout7 0

Saturday 3 March 2012 2:51

It's kind of like that movie called Stranger Than Fiction.

Mariaa5411 0

Saturday 3 March 2012 3:08

LMAO. That's funny.

Ramanda12 3

Saturday 3 March 2012 3:12

Keep him.

dpgft10 0

Saturday 3 March 2012 5:06

I could see him now "And she wrote on FML about me annoying her"

Girlygirl1226 7

Saturday 3 March 2012 5:13

Payback's a bitch:)

jackeechan 10

Saturday 3 March 2012 6:22

" and now shes goin for the tampon!"

bagelpie 6

Saturday 3 March 2012 6:37

And she is writing on FML... my boyfriend... Oh sorry

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after a night of vomiting and diarrhoea, my family forced me to our beach house for the night. I packed my bag and my mum said she put my bag in the car. We get there where we realise she forgot to put my bag in the car. Not a big deal I thought. 5 minutes later I shit and vomited myself. FML

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Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML

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Today, I used a facial mask for super sensitive skin, recommended by several friends with similar skin issues. Apparently, when the warning says, "May cause some slight redness for thirty minutes", it really means, "Your face will have hives and swell to twice its normal size for several hours." FML

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Today, a pharmacist slut-shamed me for taking birth control. I'm still a virgin, and I only take those pills to help with my acne and period cramps. FML

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Today, my boyfriend told me that he becomes a boring version of himself whenever we are together. FML

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Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

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