Intimacy Crossed wires - FML

Crossed wires

Anonymous - 27/11/2010 20:36 - Canada

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Roxy19 - 22/01/2013 06:50 - United States - San Diego

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

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Kaji - 14/11/2008 11:20 - France

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

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Whatsapp? Not much

Cat - 12/04/2019 19:00 - Greece - Athens

Today, I was Whatsapping my boyfriend, as I am away for work. Before talking to him, I texted my work group I wasn’t feeling well after they invited me out. As I was chatting with what I thought was my boyfriend, I said, “I want your penis inside me.” And then realized I'd texted my work group. FML

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luvlessbootycall - 24/07/2010 05:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML

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Steamy

DreeStahr - - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

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Bad timing

i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

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Nice try

Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

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Deep fake

ohtheshame - 02/05/2011 08:34

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

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Anonymous - 30/11/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

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Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

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MissHumanoid 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 1:30

Hahaha..I'd like to hear the aftermath of this one . :D

smiller0789 3

Sunday 28 November 2010 1:31

That'd be even more awkward if your trainer is male.

jaboccas 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 15:43

Is you're trainer a guy or a girl? Because if it was a guy that'd be really really really awkward!

Antoine_Dodson1 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 15:53

You are so dumb, for real.

BDTM 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 15:58

FYL if your trainer is a girl, if not, explain the text and it's not so bad.

PGleo86 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 16:33

how do people **** this up? reply button people....

Pawned71 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 16:37

you are an idiot who would text that to his girlfriend?

stevenmx86 7

Sunday 28 November 2010 17:32

Doesn't sound accidental to me lol

Flamehog9 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 18:45

I have no idea what you just said.

skmeow 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 20:06

if you play your cards right you could get a threesome for Christmas

MZHUNIDEW13 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 20:51

lmaoo.....just say WRONG NUMBER !

varkey 7

Monday 29 November 2010 5:42

hopefully shes not a woman. or ur screwed u could just say it was someone else who took your phone in either case...

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boss and I were stacking boxes in the back room of the store. One of the boxes fell and hit me in the face, causing me to lose my glasses. My boss stepped on my glasses as she ran to check the box for broken merchandise, which I then had to pay for. FML

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Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

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Today, I went to work despite having a nasty cold. I didn't call up sick because last week when I called in, my boss said I was being "unprofessional and unacceptable." My boss sent me home with a written warning today, claiming that coming to work sick was "unprofessional and unacceptable." FML

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Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML

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Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML

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Today, I saw the guy I haven’t heard from in a couple of days posting on Instagram. I texted him, “So you can post on social media but can’t text me back?” He replied with a link to a book on Amazon titled “He’s Just Not That Into You: Your Daily Wakeup Call” and said: “Read this and get the hint.” FML

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