Intimacy Come on in - FML

Come on in

Toldyouso - 22/01/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

A heads up next time maybe?

Bob - 07/04/2020 02:00

Today, when my girlfriend walked out the room, for a laugh, I covered my whole body except my knob in blankets. Then when I heard her come back in, I yelled, "Surprise!" It was her mom, who'd dropped by unannounced. FML

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Business time

nudesurprise - 16/04/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML

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In the mood

Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

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Classic

Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

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CandlesSuck - 02/11/2009 03:44 - Canada

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

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Happy?

SURPRISE - 10/06/2009 00:13 - Canada

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

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What the…?

willywonks - 21/03/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

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Romance is dead

Anonymous - 07/09/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML

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coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

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kahemae44 - 27/10/2009 10:20 - United States

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

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Boddmon 0

Friday 22 January 2010 16:04

Why would your girlfriend knock on her own door? You're an idiot for not realizing it would be someone else.

uhohuscrewedup 0

Friday 22 January 2010 16:17

why do ppl try these things when parents are at home. ydi

rycubed 24

Sunday 22 December 2013 8:39

Laid there

XQuartzX 15

Wednesday 19 November 2014 5:47

what your girlfriend will think about in that situation?

measishouldbe 17

Sunday 30 November 2014 0:17

Why would she knock on her own bedroom door? That should have been a sign that it wasn't her.

goddessa9 12

Tuesday 17 March 2015 5:43

******* idiot

mthurston 14

Thursday 23 April 2015 10:59

Did u bang her mom?

millsjoshua949 12

Monday 31 August 2020 21:20

Sorry but no sympathy from me. You people who have sex with the parents home deserve to be caught. ydi

randybryant799 20

Saturday 14 August 2021 8:04

I will never understand why people have sex when the parents are home. ydi.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my country announced that there will be 10 hours of power cuts starting from tomorrow. This basically means that if I want to begin my day at 8:00 am, it will only really get started at 6:00 pm, once the sun is down and the birds are done chirping. FML

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Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

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Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML

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Today, I went on a date after months of rejection and loneliness. Everything was going great until my date argued with me over the correct way to pronounce my name. FML

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Today I got sunburned on my cheeks. This wouldn't be too bad if they were the ones on my face. FML

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So much to do, so little desire...

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