Love Catchy turn of phrase - FML

Catchy turn of phrase

boinger - 03/06/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
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SaraSkyWolf - 17/10/2018 22:00

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

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Bucks9 - 07/05/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

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Teddy Bear - 12/01/2019 16:00

Today, while working in a kids' shop, I absent-mindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then hear a deep man's voice say "I'm not a little man." FML

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No

grlks - 19/02/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

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Anonymous - 08/02/2017 19:00 - Ireland - Navan

Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML

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Honesty

bridezilla - 31/12/2014 07:47 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, "No way" or "It looks great on you", I accidentally said, "Yeah, I know." FML

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Anonymous - 06/02/2011 17:53 - United States

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

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She definitely heard

Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

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Anonymous - 16/06/2017 14:00

Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML

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Anonymous - 31/10/2014 10:55 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

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CLINTRONxD 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:04

You're right, That totally sucks. But it is hilarious

ohmygawdz 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:07

I bet you do, you little boinger you.

CLINTRONxD 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:04

You're right, That totally sucks. But it is hilarious

xXCrazyPersonXx 0

Monday 12 April 2010 1:34

OP is the Pedobear...

abbi96x 0

Friday 14 May 2010 13:17

OMG. Pedophile! Damn you anti-flood.

Raceta 5

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:04

Mjwnenrjs 17

Monday 25 October 2010 8:23

I like the fancy vocabulary OP used, enamored, encountered, petite etc.

brave_fml 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:05

P:

gaby904 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:06

Maybe you're attracted to petite women because you DO like little girls! :-)

whocaresfylfml 0

Monday 25 July 2011 5:42

makes sense

ohmygawdz 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:07

I bet you do, you little boinger you.

fcukstylez 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:08

haha atleast you didnt say "i tend to only have sexual realationshios with little girls" haha

finnaaas 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:08

Haha, wow! Nice creeper :)

genius_man16 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:13

LAME Let me guess, your friends looked at you and said "WTF?" and you explained yourself in about 7 words right? This FML is retarded.

crazyjack 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:13

Woaah smooth move there buddy :'D

cody12341 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:13

Lets hope she does'nt have a daughter

kookysoc 11

Thursday 1 March 2012 2:25

Lmaoooooooo

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Today, I took my wife and our 6 year-old son to a company party. Sometimes I take my son to work with me, so he knows my coworkers. One of them walked over and introduces herself to my wife, and my son says, "Yeah, they go to into the bathroom together all the time during break!"’ Thanks, son. FML

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