Dogs, Cars Animals Call the cops

Call the cops

sammatthews2007 - 25/02/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

ciararow - 14/04/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML

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Doggy dog world

Anonymous - 15/02/2021 21:30

Today, someone let my puppy escape. I didn't know, until I arrived home and hit him with my car. FML

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How dare you?

Anonymous - 09/11/2009 20:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and the words "Fuck you." Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML

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anonymous - 19/07/2012 23:56 - United States - La Verne

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

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Bad boy

VtecKickIn - - United States

Today, I was driving home with my girlfriend. As we turned onto our block, she shrieked that our dog was running down the street and into traffic. I jumped out of the moving car and chased him for about a mile, only to give up, go home, and find out it wasn't our dog. FML

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The_Waffle - 14/05/2016 17:17 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML

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GotMyBitchBack - 05/09/2013 11:02 - United States - Zanesville

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

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Anonymous - 23/04/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

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Caught in 4K

BrutallyBlonde - 31/12/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

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stinky skunk - 05/09/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML

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amelinat 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 12:46

The crazy woman needs professional help - call the police, get your dog back and get her sectioned.

curious_missy 1

Wednesday 25 February 2009 12:21

FML for the getting back of puppies!!! UNITE!!!!

Stephen_fml 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 22:58

sounds like a bitch

lordAnime 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 23:13

for the 63rd time, POLICE

mylifeisf 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 23:22

organize a paintball raid aganist her

sammatthews2007 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 23:48

Well. I decided that calling the cops is out of the question (thank you to the many that voiced your opinion, but #56's advice DOES make sense). She lives on about 5 acres of land, roughly half of it is woods. Any ideas (short of burning down her home, or dropping a nuke on her) as to what I should do to get Sparta back? Yes, my dog's name is Sparta. In terms of why she is treating me this way, I discovered two months into the relationship that she was some sort of religious fanatic. I broke up with her quickly, because some of the things I found her doing creeped me out quickly. Maybe she stole my dog for some obscure ritual? Need your help on this, guys!

sammatthews2007 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 23:51

Forgot to change my lock....getting that done asap.

McLaughlane 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 0:04

dude. CALL THE ******* COPS. She STOLE your DOG. Don't be too proud to call the cops, they'll go in there and bust her ass for stealing your animal. Then get a restraining order.