Budget Spa By FML Approved - 25/10/2017 20:30 Who else is ready to take a personal day with this dog? I agree, your life sucks 503 You deserved it 119 Share Tweet Share
Today, after a full year of absolutely zero social interaction, I realized that I don’t miss it. At all. FML I agree, your life sucks 805 You deserved it 214
Today, my dad muttered something about the snow in Texas being fake, caused by 5G. I didn't take the bait, because it made a change from natural disasters being caused by my "homosexual life choices." FML I agree, your life sucks 1 346 You deserved it 172
Today, my wife is out of town on business. So I got drunk. Really drunk. Felt like swimming around midnight (we live in Arizona). Jumped in the pool… and forget how to swim. Too uncoordinated, I almost drowned. Then I threw up in the pool. FML I agree, your life sucks 357 You deserved it 2 510
Today, I wanted to try my mom's new lipstick. I opened it, baffled, examined it carefully. That's when it started to vibrate. Obviously, that wasn't a lipstick. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 583 You deserved it 10 955
Today, I tried to make homemade sushi for the first time. It ended up looking like a Jackson Pollock painting, and tasted like a shoe. My roommates politely declined when I offered them some. FML I agree, your life sucks 519 You deserved it 287
Today, I woke up late for a job interview. I hadn't shaved in six days, but figuring I could do so en route, I grabbed my electric razor and ran for the bus. While shaving, the razor's battery died midway through, leaving me to attend the job interview with a Miami Vice scruff on half my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 16 048 You deserved it 38 157
I see carrots. Is it a bath, or are they making a stew?
Ok... that is just too cute for words! :)