Birthday, Gifts Miscellaneous Brown and sticky

Brown and sticky

Jon - 14/03/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

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Life is a roller coaster

Username - 02/10/2019 14:00

Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML

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Almost done

Anonymous - 09/04/2013 04:59 - Canada

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick." One more year… FML

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chrono19 - 04/05/2014 10:11 - United States - Bremerton

Today, I got a birthday package from my parents. It was all the stuff I'd forgotten there when visiting a month ago, along with some other things I'd left behind when I moved out. FML

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stinkerweeder - 05/02/2011 20:30 - United States

Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML

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NosChersVoisins - 01/07/2014 04:55 - France - Bordeaux

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

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Happy Birthday

Anonymous - 07/10/2010 00:48 - United States

Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I'd ordered an Xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML

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Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

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reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

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Birthday Surprise - 26/05/2014 21:18 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

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Florida_1827 - 28/01/2011 10:54 - United States

Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML

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Inkspell 2

Saturday 14 March 2009 16:15

Wow, wtf, i rather get nothing. lmao, what the hell, seriously though, just grabbing a stick and giving it to someone is worse than saying "sorry, don't have a present.."

HelloFlower 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 16:23

You can do SO MANY things with a stick. The possibilities are endless.

losergirl 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 16:10

hahahaaa wow. that's fantastic... and quite pathetic.

todo350 0

Friday 16 July 2010 20:34

EDIT: on further inspection, i found that the stick was a bark-covered rod of 24 carrot gold, valued at $750. my parents took the stick back, and i grew a golden retrievers head out of both my arm pits. FML

CitizenSnipz 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 5:11

^ this. LOL

Hunthas 17

Thursday 5 January 2012 5:07

I'm confused, ******* stick has two meanings. Which one was it?

screwthisstuff 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 16:11

hahaha your parents SUCK!

butterflywings12 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 18:30

that's why you would beat them with the stick

luccamosart 0

Sunday 25 April 2010 2:09

dude on there birthday give them a good ball slap.

Creamysweeps 5

Monday 13 June 2011 5:17

noo give them a ROCK! yeah.

lolololcheese 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 16:13

hahaha I hate parents

gayguysf 0

Friday 26 March 2010 22:15

I know right, damn them for giving all of us life

awesomemegan 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 16:13

Its the thought that counts! Okay, it actually does suck. Lol.

Inkspell 2

Saturday 14 March 2009 16:15

Wow, wtf, i rather get nothing. lmao, what the hell, seriously though, just grabbing a stick and giving it to someone is worse than saying "sorry, don't have a present.."