Gross, Underwear Work Brain bleach please - FML

Brain bleach please

unashamed - 05/06/2014 08:11 - Australia - Ipswich

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Nice boxers

Harmonia - 26/01/2009 10:09 - France

Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML

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Oh shit…

half-dead in CA - 31/05/2014 16:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

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spiderchick23 - 10/02/2011 00:41 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML

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Shoes - 12/06/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

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Heartwarming story

Anonymous - 06/10/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had no choice but to shit himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he'd pooped in. FML

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jacie - 18/11/2018 15:30

Today, I tried on a pair of pants in a dressing room and they didn’t fit. However, my period came suddenly and left a massive bloodstain, so I had to buy them anyway. In case you’re wondering, the pants were white, the cashier was male and cute, and he definitely noticed. FML

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We could be heroes

OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

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CA - 08/10/2015 14:46 - Norway

Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML

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Pish yerself

breyn - - United States

Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML

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Skidmarks

DontTrustAFart - 14/12/2024 05:00 - United States - Fort Dodge

Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML

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Welshite 39

Thursday 5 June 2014 14:24

Direct him to the diaper section. Those are white...

goodwithoutgods 20

Thursday 5 June 2014 14:26

That's actually not a bad idea

koreamaniac101 7

Thursday 5 June 2014 19:19

LITTLE ******* *******

martin8337 35

Thursday 5 June 2014 19:32

What do old people ass smell like? Depends.

f0xr0t 8

Thursday 5 June 2014 19:37

he just doesnt want to be in a shitty situation

WeskersSexslave 15

Thursday 5 June 2014 21:05

lmaoo!!! old people say the darndest things!

ldkindasucks 6

Thursday 5 June 2014 21:05

Never really understood why people would say "FML" to something that is clearly an FML for the person they dealt with..

WeskersSexslave 15

Thursday 5 June 2014 21:06

it works for girls when they get their period too lmao you cant tell on dark colors >xD

gregpeters 2

Thursday 5 June 2014 21:13

How the **** is it f your life

squarecircles 13

Thursday 5 June 2014 21:20

I guess when some ppl reach a certain age they become too old to give a shit what other ppl think. The older you get...

annunaki_fml 11

Thursday 5 June 2014 21:33

This is how supervillans are created.

ladybugz23 13

Thursday 5 June 2014 22:50

lol help him out..its part of your job

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was woken up in the middle of the night by an alarm on my phone going off. Thinking it was warning me of an incoming weather emergency, I checked it. It was a Silver Alert near me. Why wake me up for this? FML

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Today, after taking a massive shit, I flushed the toilet and it clogged. It flooded to the brim and the shit came rising to the top. I didn't know what to do so I grabbed some toilet paper and picked it up, ran to my balcony, and launched it. It landed on my neighbor's car. FML

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Today, after a horrible day at work, I called my wife on the drive home and asked if she could start the kettle so I could have a cup of tea when I got home. She shrieked, "I'm not your maid!" and hung up on me, then threw hot water in my face when I got home. FML

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Today, my boyfriend’s bed is so uncomfortable that even after six months of not seeing him, I’m sleeping on the floor so I can actually get some sleep. FML

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Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

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Today, being the man of the house, I decided to work on the car. Long story short, there's a towel in my transmission. FML

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