Injury, Garden Health Boom!

Boom!

JurassicHole - 22/04/2012 03:27 - United States

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

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Lee - 10/04/2012 03:50 - United States

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

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Ouch!

Anonymous - 23/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML

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Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

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Jopes - 10/05/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

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thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

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mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

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bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

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Wakey wakey

sacked - 22/02/2010 19:51 - United States

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

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Anonymous - 10/07/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML

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mmmPoptarts 6

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:16

That's only if you're still fertile

jackson41 4

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:18

Good thing guys constantly generate new sperm! Lol girls don't generate new "eggs" ever, so if they get damages they literally damage their future children. Nerd moment srry :P

Almandine 7

Sunday 22 April 2012 9:15

It's okay sperm don't last that long anyway...

fuckmebutdontfml 16

Sunday 22 April 2012 9:21

Could this.be karma for when "the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand." ???

theBIGmack92 6

Sunday 22 April 2012 9:31

I think I felt a little pain just reading this.

thisiscat 14

Sunday 22 April 2012 10:00

ouch...

TheChosenSpoon 0

Sunday 22 April 2012 10:49

Ouch,OP I think you shouldnt expect children,that might have destroyed chances by a lot!

Mahat 0

Sunday 22 April 2012 11:27

Natures attempt at birth control?

Michael_92 20

Sunday 22 April 2012 12:01

Just think, usually the stronger ones would produce a better kid too. Not saying to go out and hit yourself to make sure ONLY the strong ones live lol.